Preserving Memories: How to Write a Family History
By Lillie Ammann
Smashwords Edition
©2010 Lillian A. Ammann
All rights reserved
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Preserving Memories: How to Write a Family History
Families often lose their histories through the generations, which may explain why genealogy — the process of trying to trace and recapture that history — is hugely popular. Learn how to preserve your precious family memories for future generations, whether you simply want to print a few copies on your computer or publish a hardcover book to sell to the general public
WHY YOU SHOULD CREATE A FAMILY HISTORY
Usually people have one of two reactions to the idea of writing a family history: "Can I publish my family history and make a lot of money?" or, "My family has no history worth writing." Both of these are unrealistic. The following sections explain why.
Can I Publish My Family History and Make Money?
People ask me — a freelance editor — to help them write their individual memoirs or family histories. Sometimes they expect to submit their manuscripts to publishers because they think their stories are so interesting and unusual that everyone will want to read them. However, unless you or members of your family have achieved some celebrity or notoriety, the general public usually won’t be interested in your story. Publishers don’t often publish memoirs of ordinary people unless they have been in the midst of extraordinary circumstances.
In addition, most people are more interested in their own family background than in yours, and most families have stories of overcoming great hardships somewhere in their history. Nearly all families have memories of love and sacrifice as well as of great tragedy. And, in general, families would rather read their own stories than yours.
Who Would Want to Read about My Family or Me?
At the other end of the spectrum, there are people who think their lives are too ordinary to write about. They haven’t traveled to exotic places, made great discoveries, or earned huge fortunes. The public doesn’t recognize their faces on the covers of the tabloids or hear of their accomplishments on the nightly news. They wonder why they should write anything at all.
Maybe you’re in this category, and you wonder who would be interested in your family history if you put it down on paper. But even if the world isn’t interested, and even if your family history won’t make the New York Times Bestseller List, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t create it for your own family.
What’s the Value of a Family History?
Do your children know how you and your spouse met? Has your family forgotten (or perhaps never known) the challenges your grandparents or great-grandparents overcame as immigrants? Do you wonder about the origins of cherished family traditions? Would you like to ensure that your grandchildren and great-grandchildren understand your beliefs and values?
We think we’ll always remember the important events of our lives. But in the day-to-day activities of living, we tend to lose sight of the bigger picture. We forget the reasons for our holiday traditions, or we forget to tell our children and grandchildren about some of the events of our childhood.
Sometimes, we remember to share the happy experiences, but since we often want to forget about the hard times, we neglect to mention them. Yet it's those times that may cover some of the most important events of our family’s history. The rough spots in life may be what made us into the people we are today.
After my father died, my mother became very depressed and withdrawn. I convinced her to attend a writing conference with me by telling her I didn’t want to stay in the hotel alone. She attended one conference session — a seminar on writing essays. She wanted to try her hand at an essay but couldn’t decide on a topic, so I suggested she write about our trip. After that successful attempt, my siblings and I encouraged her to write about her own life.
She wrote what she called her “stories” in longhand on notebook paper. I transcribed them, making only minor corrections in her spelling, punctuation, and grammar. I scanned family photos and added them in appropriate places. We printed the stories on my computer printer and inserted the pages in loose-leaf binders so she could give a book to each of her adult children for Christmas; each year after that, she wrote more stories to add to the book.
These stories quickly became cherished family treasures. Teenaged grandchildren put aside video games to read their parents’ copies of their grandmother’s memoirs. Siblings pointed to stories and asked each other, “Did you know that?” Family members shared laughter and tears when the stories were given as gifts, and now, years after my mother died, those loose-leaf binders filled with family stories have become treasured legacies, possibly even more valued than money or property.
The same can be true for you. Your personal memoirs or your family history can be the greatest treasure you can leave your family because you're sharing your life and yourself.
With a little planning and effort, you can create a memory book just like my mother did, one that your family will treasure for generations to come.
You can create your memory book as a personal memoir of your own life. Of course, your memories will include a large number of other people, too, including your parents, family, friends, school and work associates, and many more. But in this case you'll probably want to limit the focus to the events and people of your lifetime.
Or you can decide to broaden your scope to a family history, including more information about one or more branches of your family tree. You might want to interview your grandparents, parents, or other relatives who are still alive. Although this can overlap into genealogical research, the focus of the family history is more personal — sharing thoughts and feelings, as well as events and stories that would never show up in genealogical research.
For example, my grandfather was a cowboy. When I was a child, he enthralled the entire family with his cowboy tales. He died when I was 12 years old, and although I vaguely recall listening to his stories, I don’t remember a single tale. In her memory book, my mother wrote the only remaining tale she remembered of the dozens he used to repeat regularly. No one ever wrote them down; Grandpa telling his tales was such a common occurrence, no one ever imagined the day would come when Grandpa would be gone — and the stories with him. None of his great-grandchildren or future generations will ever hear those tales.
Second, Determine Your Audience
Determine who you want to share your history with. Your immediate family is the obvious starting point because the people closest to you are the ones most likely to be interested in your history.
But remember you're not writing just for today. You're preserving your history for future generations. My grandfather’s cowboy stories should have been written down, not for his children and their spouses — they were probably tired of hearing them — but for his grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and future generations.
Especially if you’re writing a family history rather than a memoir, you may want to expand your audience to include your extended family — aunts, uncles, cousins, and any other relatives who would be interested in knowing the history of the people in your family.
And you don’t have to limit it to family. Most people have friends who are as close as family and would be interested in reading about people they care about.
Although most family histories and memoirs are not viable for commercial publication, some are. If your story is compelling and unique, it might be a candidate for submission to publishers. This e-book does not address submitting your manuscript to publishers; if that is your goal, you should first learn more about writing and the submission process, starting with some of the resources listed at the end of this article.
After you’ve decided on your scope and determined your audience, you’re ready to plan the details of your project. We’ll call this project a “book,” although it can take many forms.
There are several ways that you can go about writing your book. You can:
Type into a word processor.
Write in longhand and have a family member, friend, or professional type what you’ve written.
Talk into a tape recorder and have a family member, friend, or professional transcribe the tape.
Interview family members and transcribe the interviews or arrange for someone else to interview you.
Hire a professional writer to ghost-write your book.
Even if you don’t consider yourself a writer, you’re usually the best person to tell your own story. Your loved ones will cherish your “voice” — the distinctive way you put words together — and your memoir or family history will read similar to the way you talk. It’s a good way to “preserve” yourself for the future.
You should know that your words are your intellectual property, protected by copyright. If you hire someone else to write your memoir or family history, make sure you understand and agree who will hold the copyright on the completed book. If you write your own story, you are the legal copyright owner. To protect your rights, include “Copyright (Your Name) 2010” on your manuscript in progress and in your book. For more information on US copyright law, see the resources section; in other countries, check with the appropriate agency in your country.
PREPARE TO WRITE
People who haven’t written since school are often intimidated by the blank computer screen or sheet of paper. You can find a great deal of information about writing on the Internet, and useful resources are listed at the end of this article.
However, when you're writing your memoirs or family history, you don’t have to follow all the formal rules like you do when writing something for a school assignment. You're sharing yourself with your loved ones, and this personal, creative writing can be done the way you want to do it.