COMMON WRITING ERRORS WORKBOOK
Katherine Ploeger, MA, MFA
Smashwords Edition
Copyright © 2010 Katherine Ploeger
ISBN 978-0-938482-56-7 e-book
Discover Other Titles by Katherine Ploeger at Smashwords.com
Write That Nonfiction Book: The Whole Process
Top Ten Tips for Becoming a Better Writer
with more coming!
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter 1 Introduction
Chapter 2 About Editing
The Editing Process for a manuscript
Basic Editing Tips
PART I - CONNECTING IDEAS WELL
Chapter 3 Using Conjunctions
Coordinating Conjunctions [1]
Subordinating Conjunctions [2]
Correlative Conjunctions [3]
Transitional Elements [4]
Chapter 4 Identifying and Correcting Sentence Boundary Errors
Fragments [5]
Run On Sentences [6]
Chapter 5 Using Modifiers
Introductory Elements [7]
Noun Phrase Appositives [8]
Prepositional Phrases [9]
Adjective Clauses [10]
Verbal Phrases [11]
Chapter 6 Correcting Misused Modifiers
Dangling Modifiers [12]
Misplaced Modifiers [13]
PART II BE SPECIFIC WITH EXPRESSION
Chapter 7 Being Specific with the Subject and Actors
Use specific Nouns for the subject [14]
Focus the Subject (avoid empty subjects) [15, 16]
Chapter 8 Being Specific with Verbs and Actions
Use Specific Verbs for the action [17]
Revise “to be” + Verb to use a stronger verb [18]
Chapter 9 Being Specific with Other Sentence elements
Identify the Right Thing [19]
Translate Questioning Words in Regular Sentences [20]
Identify the Noun Associated with this, that, these, those [21]
Placing Limiting Words Properly [22]
PART III BE CONSISTENT
Chapter 10 Subject-Verb Agreement [23]
Chapter 11 Pronouns [24 – 30]
Chapter 12 Parallelism [31 – 33]
Chapter 13 Point of View [34]
PART IV REDUCE WORDINESS AND CONFUSION
Chapter 14 Reduce Wordiness 62
Simplify Your Words [35]
Reduce Clauses to Phrases, Phrases to Words [36]
Reduce Wordiness and Redundancy [37]
Delete Unnecessary Phrases [38]
Avoid Clichés [39]
Chapter 15 Reduce Confusion
Use Active and Passive Voice correctly [40]
Record Actions in Chronological Sequence [41]
Avoid confusing words [42]
Avoid Jargon
Use the Right Homonym [43]
Format Numbers correctly [44]
PART V PUNCTUATE PROPERLY
Chapter 16 Use Punctuation Marks Right
Semi colons [45]
Commas [46]
Apostrophes [47]
Dashes [48]
Colons [49]
Italics [50]
PART VI SKILLS EXERCISES 91
Answer Key to the Skill Exercises
About Katherine Ploeger, MA, MFA
[Note: the numbers in the brackets refer to the Skill Exercise Number in Part VI.]
Chapter I
Introduction
Welcome
Welcome to the Common Writing Errors Workbook. This workbook is an extension and enhancement of Lesson 11 of Write That Nonfiction Book: The Whole Process, as explained below.
The writing errors in this workbook are those I’ve encountered over and over in both client and student writings. Some errors are basic, such as dealing with coordinating conjunctions, and some errors are more sophisticated, such as revising clauses to phrases to make the writing tighter.
It is my hope that by working through this workbook, you can improve your writing skills to make your writing even more presentable and publishable than it is now. And you’ll improve your editing skills, knowing about the common mistakes writers make.
By the way, I highly recommend you print this workbook out, for two reasons:
1. You’ll have the workbook on your shelf, hopefully near your writing space, for easy reference, and
2. You can write on the pages, making notes and doing the exercises.
Have fun!
Source of These Materials
Some (a fairly small amount, as it turns out) of the material in this workbook comes from Lesson 11 of Write That Nonfiction Book – The Whole Process. I had to reduce the content in that book to bring it down to a reasonable page count, so the extra stuff, now greatly enhanced, appears in this workbook. That’s what I get for wanting to tell more about grammar and writing issues than I have room for.
For this workbook, I have added explanations, definitions, and examples. The additions make the workbook a more complete workbook, more useful as a teaching tool for writing skills.
I have also added Practice This exercises, three exercises to practice the issue when it is discussed. The answers are at the end of each chapter.
And, of course, I’ve added Skills Exercises for you to practice each writing issue. They appear in Part VI.
I truly hope all this additional information helps you to become the writer you want to be, at the skill level you need to produce and publish your books and articles, stories and novels.
A Few Definitions First
Before we start, we need to define a few terms, as they are used immediately in Chapter 2.
Independent Clause: A complete thought expressed with at least a subject and verb. For example: He danced. (subject + verb in a complete thought.)
Dependent Clause: A partial thought begun with a subordinating conjunction but also containing a subject and verb (thus a clause). It is, however, not a complete sentence; it must be attached to an independent clause, or else you create a fragment.
Phrase: A partial thought expressed with a subject or verb but not both. It is not a complete sentence, and if you punctuate it as such, you create a fragment.
Subject: The subject of the sentence is the "who" or "what" doing the action expressed in the sentence.
Chapter 2
About Editing
Common Writing Errors Workbook offers detailed information, examples, and exercises about those errors commonly found in manuscripts I’ve come across in my teaching and writing coaching experiences.
This workbook is not meant to replace a good grammar handbook, of which you’ll find hundreds on the market. Check any good used bookstore and peruse several. Find one whose writing style and presentation you like, read it, and use it. Keep it next to your dictionary on your desk.
This workbook focuses on common writing errors. And it addresses ways to correct the error. Some of these errors are basic level errors, still found in writing of fairly proficient writers; others are demonstrated by more advanced writers.
The Editing Process for a Manuscript
Here are my steps for editing a book manuscript. These steps can apply to any editing job, any length of writing.
1. Do a computer spell check to catch all misspelled words. In this day and age of computers, spelling errors (words actually spelled wrong) should never appear in print or online. Spell check is just so easy. All it takes is a bit attention to those red squiggly lines under words.
2. Check the grammar errors, the green squiggly lines (which most word processors include) but be careful when making corrections. Grammar checkers are notoriously wrong, so make sure you understand the error it is flagging and that the error should be corrected.
For example, my grammar checker doesn’t like closed series (A closed series is one without and before the last item in the series; it indicates that more items could have been listed in the series but weren’t), so I ignore those squiggly lines. But I pay attention to the passive voice lines. Have a grammar handbook handy and verify the error before correcting it.
3. Read a printed copy (not off the computer screen) of the manuscript carefully, once, for obvious errors.
Correct for:
* Using the wrong word spelled correctly (for example: the/they, form/from)
* Obvious grammatical errors
* Sentence boundary errors (fragments and run-ons)
* Clichés – Rewrite for your original wording. What are you really trying to say?
* Jargon use – This error depends on your audience. Simplify the writing, define the term, include an explanation and example, or whatever is needed to make it clear for your readers, but write to your audience’s level of sophistication with the topic. Use jargon as the audience expects you to.
4. Create a list of your “Favorite” writing errors, those errors you know you make all the time. You simply don’t see them when you’re writing them (whether typing or hand writing), and you don’t see them when casually reading your manuscript (as you do when reading a computer screen).
5. Read the printed copy for each error on your Favorite Errors list. That is, read the manuscript once for one error, and read the manuscript again for the next error. Don’t try to do this reading quickly, nor try to read the manuscript once for all errors on your list. You’ll miss them.
You need to focus on one error at a time, reading each sentence to see if you’ve committed that error. After a while, you’ll become quite quick at this type of reading, since you’re not reading for content but simply editing errors.
So take a deep breath and start reading, pen in hand, paper copy of your manuscript on your desk.
Your color of pen is your choice; some like to use red. Personally, I use purple or green as the color stands out, but the manuscript doesn’t look like a bleeding corpse. And yes, I have my own Favorites List that I use as well.
6. Go through the manuscript for the writing errors discussed in this workbook. For those errors not on your Favorites list, read for three or four errors at a time. Just keep the list of the errors you’re reading for close at hand, to remind yourself of your mission on that read.
If you find the error occurs more than a few times, add it to your Favorites list and learn not to make it.
7. When the pages become so messy that you have a hard time figuring out the notes, or you just want to see the text without all those markings, enter your changes online and print another copy.
8. Continue editing until the manuscript is as good as you can make it.
Basic Editing Tips
Here are some tips for editing your manuscript.
* Read a printed version of the manuscript; don’t try to edit (or revise, for that matter) online, except for the most obvious errors. All professional writers whom I’ve talked to about this point agree. You really have to be looking at a piece of paper to do the job right. So take the time, ink and paper, and print out a copy.
* Read your writing as if produced by your worst enemy. Actually look for mistakes. In the right mindset, you’ll find them. If you read your writing as if produced by yourself, or your best friend, those errors will slip by unseen.
* Know your writing issues, the errors you constantly have to correct. Make a list of them and use the list as a guide for the first part of your editing process. This list is your “Favorites” list discussed earlier.
* Read the manuscript for one editing issue at a time. You shouldn’t try to read the manuscript for every issue because you’ll miss the more subtle mistakes.
* Use a thesaurus when you are stumped for the right word, but make sure you know the differences between your chosen words. When using a thesaurus, always have your dictionary handy. And use it. Otherwise, you can misuse a word and change the meaning of your writing without intending to.
* Find someone proficient with language to edit your manuscript, but only after you’ve done your best at it. That’s the only way to learn to be a better writer. Seeking help too soon truncates the learning process, to your loss.
Part I
Connecting Ideas Well
One major group of writing errors involves connecting the ideas well, in the most efficient way possible. This process makes your writing tighter, using fewer words to express the same ideas, making the reading easier and yet more sophisticated.
These errors involve:
* Using Conjunctions: Coordinating, Subordinating, Correlative, and Transitional elements (Chapter 2)
* Correcting for Sentence Boundary Errors (Chapter 3)
* Using Modifiers (Chapter 4) and correcting the associated errors (Chapter 5)
Chapter 3
Using Conjunctions
Coordinating Conjunctions
Use coordinating conjunctions to join two independent clauses of equal value. In other words, the ideas in both clauses are equally important. The coordinating conjunction is always located in the interior of the sentence since it joins two independent clauses.
English uses seven coordinating conjunctions. The words form the acronym of FANBOYS:
for, and, nor, boy, or, yet, so.
For example,
Correct: The theater went dark, for the play was about to start.
Correct: The geese landed on the fresh grass, and they all faced the same directions, slowly moving forward in their quest for food.
Correct: Carla didn’t accept the movie role, nor did she consider the play.
Correct: Jim stared at his laptop, but he found his mind had gone blank.
Correct: Stephanie wanted to buy a fuji apple, or she thought a gala apple would be just as good.
Correct: The lawn mower sputtered and died, yet it had enough fuel.
Correct: Kenneth wanted to write a book, so he found resources to help.
Meanings of the Words
Each coordinating conjunction has a different meaning, so be sure to use the right one. Don’t use and for every sentence.
COORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS AND THEIR MEANINGS
Coordinating
Conjunction Meaning; relationships shown
For Cause – effect/result. A more formal word for because.
And Equality between two independent, positive ideas
Nor Equality between two negative ideas
But Opposition or contrast between ideas
Or Alternatives, two negatives
Yet Opposition, or emphasis (a stronger but)
So Cause – effect/result
For example, here is one sentence showing the change in meaning with the change of word:
Start: Tori arrived home late. She washed the dog.
a) Tori arrived home late, and she washed the dog.
b) Tori arrived home late, but she washed the dog.
c) Tori arrived home late, so she washed the dog.
d) Tori arrived home late, yet she washed the dog.
The differences in meaning are clear.
a) These are two separate actions, possibly with a connection.
b) She washed the dog anyway, despite a lack of time or energy.
c) Her late arrival prompted her to wash the dog, showing a cause and effect relationship.
d) As with b), she washed the dog, despite other considerations.
Make sure you understand the meaning you are trying to convey and pick the correct word for the situation.
Punctuation
Punctuation with a coordinating conjunction involves placing a comma after the first clause, before the coordinating conjunction (not after). The comma indicates the end of the first clause and the beginning of the second.
However, do not put a comma in front of every use of a coordinating conjunction. Many of those words serve other functions. For example, using and with a pair of nouns does not require a comma before the and. You don’t use commas between two items in a pair. (See Commas, later in this workbook.)
For example:
Wrong: He spotted hawks, and falcons in the forest.
Correct: He spotted hawks and falcons in the forest.
Be aware of the function of the word when deciding on punctuation and usage.
Practice This Issue:
Fill in the appropriate coordinating conjunction and punctuate properly.
1. The bluebird flew to the nest _________ she fed her squawking chicks.
2. The cruise ship sailed her maiden voyage __________ the ship was only half full of passengers.
3. Joyce studied her textbook __________ she needed to pass the final exam.
[Answers to these exercises are at the end of this chapter.]
[For more practice, use Skill Exercise #1 in Part VI.]
Subordinating Conjunctions
Subordinating conjunctions are used to connect two sentences related in thought but with ideas of unequal value. That is, the idea in the main clause is more important that the idea in the dependent clause.
Using this construction is one way to deemphasize an idea (the one in the dependent clause) while still stating it. The reader understands the reduction in emphasis even if that realization is not conscious. This reduction in emphasis especially occurs when the writer uses such words as although, even though, though.
For example,
Correct: Although her checking account was empty, she wrote a check to the grocery store.
She still met her obligation to the grocery store. The fact that the check would probably bounce unless she deposited more funds on that day is less important to the writer. Or the writer is trying to make the empty checking account a lesser issue than the fact that she wrote a check.
We have a wide variety of words that can fill this function. See the Meanings Table on the next page for a list of subordinating conjunctions.
Of course, sometimes the writer intentionally creates a fragment with the subordinating conjunction. And sometimes this effort makes the writer appear to be ignorant of grammar rules. Which happens with this sentence. And other fragments actually sound okay.
For example:
Fragment: First, a note.
That is not a complete sentence; it’s a fragment. It’s actually an introductory element and a noun, but it works as a sentence, in most cases.
Meanings of the Words
Each subordinating conjunction has a different meaning, so make sure you use the right one. Don’t use because all the time.
SUBORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS AND THEIR MEANINGS
Meaning Subordinating Conjunction
Addition In addition to
Cause and effect as, because, even if, if only, in order that, since, so, so that, that
Comparison As, as if, as though, than, whereas, while
Concession/Contrast, Choice Although, as though, even if, even though, rather than, than, though, whether, whereas, while
Condition As if, as long as, even if, if, if only, provided, provided that, unless
Place Wherever, where
Result In order that, so that, that,
Sequence or Time after, as, as long as, as soon as, before, once, since, until, when, whence, whenever, while
Space (location): where, wherever
Location and Punctuation
Dependent clauses using subordinating conjunctions can be placed anywhere in the sentence, with different comma rules associated with each location.
* If the dependent clause starts the sentence, a comma separates it from the main clause.
* If the dependent clause is placed in the middle of the sentence, no comma is used.
For example:
Correct: When pilots enter the cockpit, they should be rested and ready to fly.
Correct: Jan growled at the night noises even though she wore earplugs.
Practice This Issue:
Insert the word with the proper meaning, according to your reading of the sentence. Some sentences may use a few different subordinating conjunctions to express different meanings.
1. __________ you go, there you are.
2. Jonas sifted through the week’s pile of mail __________ he returned from vacation.
3. __________ the forum had lots of followers no one responded to anyone’s threads.
[Answers to these exercises are at the end of this chapter.]
[For more practice, use Skill Exercise #2 in Part VI.]
Correlative Conjunctions
Correlative conjunctions are standard pairs of words that compare or contrast two ideas within the same sentence. The words and phrases following each part of the conjunction should be parallel, that is, using the same grammatical structure and sequence. Generally, this conjunction requires no additional punctuation inside the sentence.
For example,
Wrong: Neither Sam nor was Sandy allowed out into the yard.
Parallel: Neither Sam nor Sandy were allowed out in the yard.
Note that the two names are parallel, simply stating the name.
CORRELATIVE CONJUNCTIONS AND THEIR MEANINGS
Both … and Comparison
Neither … nor Contrast
Either … or Contrast
Not only… but (also) In addition to
Whether … or About condition
Practice This Issue:
Fill in the blanks with correlative conjunctions. Be sure to punctuate properly.
1. Jackson __________ painted watercolors ___________ earned a fairly generous living.
2. __________ did he spend much of his time playing computer games __________ he talked on the phone a lot, so he was fired.
3. Jane studied the menu, trying to decide ___________ to go for the fish __________ to go for the vegetarian lasagna.
[Answers to these exercises are at the end of this chapter.]
[For more practice, use Skill Exercise #3 in Part VI.]
Transitional Elements
Transitional elements show the relationship between two ideas linked by the transitional element. This linking can occur within a sentence or between paragraphs.
They serve as a bridge to the next idea. A transition indicates a change is coming, a shift in focus within the sentence or paragraph. They can also appear before an independent clause, again stating a change in relationships between a stated idea and the next one.
The transitional element can appear between two independent clauses, as shown below, as in the middle of an independent clause that is more complicated (longer).
For example,
Wordy: The seaman signed on for a two-year voyage. He had just divorced his wife.
Better: The seaman signed on for a two-year voyage after divorcing his wife.
Meaning of the Words
These linking words each have a different meaning, so use the right word in the sentence.
MEANINGS ASSOCIATED WITH TRANSITIONAL ELEMENTS
Addition also, besides, by the way, equally important, furthermore, in addition, incidentally, moreover, too
Comparison as, equally important, in comparison, in the same way, likewise, similarly
Concession although, certainly, even though, granted, in spite of, naturally, of course, though
Contrast at the same time, but conversely, despite that, even so, however, in contrast, instead, on the contrary, on the other hand, nevertheless, nonetheless, otherwise, still, whereas, yet
Emphasis anyway, certainly, indeed, in fact, of course, so that, that is
Example/illustration as an illustration, for example, for instance, incidentally, likewise, namely, specifically, thus
Result accordingly, after all, as a result, at any rate, because, consequently, due to, in effect, hence, similarly, then, therefore, thus
Summary/conclude after all, all in all, at any rate, finally, in conclusion, in other words, in short, in summary, so, to conclude
Time sequence after, at the same time, by the time something happens, eventually, finally, in the second place, later that day, meanwhile, next, now, subsequently, then, the next week (month, year), today, tomorrow, yesterday, # years ago. First, second, third, finally.
Place or location beneath; on the other street; over; meanwhile, back at the ranch; underneath
Change in thinking but, however, never the less, nonetheless, on the other hand, still, yet
Punctuation
Note the punctuation using the semi colon. As discussed later in this workbook, place a semi colon between two independent clauses. If the transitional element, however, splits one independent clause - as happens in this sentence – then only commas are used.
For example,
Two Independent clauses: Manny shot his way out; however, he was still arrested when it was all over.
One independent clause: Manny shot his way out, however, still being arrested when it was all over.
Practice This Issue:
Place the correct transitional element in the blank. Be sure to punctuate properly.
1. Billy waved to his father at the train station _____________ he wished he’d never see him again.
2. The hotel manager inspected each room cleaned by the new housekeeper ___________ he gave the housekeeper high marks for her efforts.
3. The passengers boarded the cruise ship ___________ tons of provisions were being stowed below.
[Answers to these exercises are at the end of this chapter.]
[For more practice, use Skill Exercise #4 in Part VI.]
===========================================================
Answers to the "Practice This Issue" Exercises:
Coordinating Conjunctions:
1. The bluebird flew to the nest, and she fed her squawking chicks.
2. The cruise ship sailed her maiden voyage, but the ship was only half full of passengers.
3. Joyce studied her textbook, for she needed to pass the final exam.
Subordinating Conjunctions:
1. Wherever you go, there you are.
2. Jonas sifted through the week’s pile of mail after he returned from vacation.
3. Even though the forum had lots of followers, no one responded to anyone’s threads.
Correlative Conjunctions:
1. Jackson not only painted watercolors but also earned a fairly generous living.
2. Not only did he spend much of his time playing computer games but he also talked on the phone a lot, so he was fired.
3. Jane studied the menu, trying to decide whether to go for the fish or to go for the vegetarian lasagna.
Transitional Elements:
1. Billy waved to his father at the train station; at the same time, he wished he’d never see him again. (result)
2. The hotel manager inspected each room cleaned by the new housekeeper; as a result, he gave the housekeeper high marks for her efforts. (time sequence or result)
3. The passengers boarded the cruise ship; at the same time, tons of provisions were being stowed below. (time sequence)
Chapter 4
Identifying and Correcting Sentence Boundary Errors
Sentence boundary errors relate to the proper construction of the sentence. The most common error results from improper punctuation, thereby creating either a fragment or a run on sentence.
These errors are caused because the writer doesn’t hear the end of the sentence in his mind when writing or editing.
If you create such errors, one tip is to read your writing aloud, reading EXACTLY the words on the page, using the punctuation written. If you do that, you should yourself stopping to see what happened to the words on the page.
Two sentence boundary errors are discussed here:
* Fragments
* Run on Sentences
Fragments
A fragment is an incomplete sentence punctuated as a complete one.
For example,
Fragment: To see the book in print.
Correct: To see the book in print is the best reward.
Fragment: Even though she wanted to go to the prom.
Correct: Even though she wanted to go to the prom, she turned down every invitation.
As you read a fragment, you should feel like you’re “waiting for the other shoe to drop” (to use a cliché). It should feel like an incomplete thought when read.
Punctuation
If the fragment logically leads to or follows a sentence, then simply change the period to a comma, joining the fragment to the sentence it is logically linked to.
For example,
Wrong: To see the book in print. Jason sent his book to his publisher.
Correct: To see the book in print, Jason sent his book to his publisher.
Change the period to a comma, and you’ve got a complete sentence.
If the idea expressed in the fragment is alone, add words to create a full sentence so that you can express your full thought.
For example,
Wrong: Even though he worked hard on the book, spending hours every weekend and holiday.
Correct: Even though he worked hard on the book, spending hours every weekend and holiday, he still couldn’t finish the book in time.
Notice how the first sentence isn’t a complete thought. It’s just setting the reader up for the main clause, which is added in the Correct example.
Practice This Issue:
Correct the fragments to create full, complete sentences.
1. Even though Wiley planned every attack and bought the best equipment from Acme Manufacturing.
2. The confluence of two ancient rivers in Mesopotamia.
3. Every time he comes into the room.
[Answers to these exercises are at the end of this chapter.]
[For more practice, use Skill Exercise #5 in Part VI.]
Run On Sentences
I lump together all sentence constructions that are actually two or more sentences punctuated as one. These errors are also called run together sentences (RTS), fused sentences, and comma splices.
The problem usually involves the punctuation, resulting from the writer not recognizing the end of the sentence when writing.
When reading your work, the run on sentence should feel like there is too much between the periods.
Another way to detect the run on sentence is to look for the subject-verb combination without any dependent clause in front of it.
For example,
Wrong: Harry ran through the woods he jogged five miles a day.
Correct: Harry ran through the woods. He jogged five miles a day.
The second subject – verb combination (He jogged) is the indicator of another sentence starting.
Fix a run on sentence by changing the period of the clause to something else. You have a number of choices:
* insert a period.
* insert a semi colon.
* insert a coordinating conjunction (pick the right one).
* insert a subordinating conjunction, creating a dependent clause with one of the sentences.
* cut one of the sentences into a phrase and join it to the main sentence.
* insert a transitional element.
Practice This Issue:
Correct the run on sentences to create two or more complete sentences.
1. Julie acted with a murderous rage she was admitted to the psych ward for observation.
2. The two gardeners sprayed the roses the bugs died.
3. Stevie, the gander, nibbled at the fresh grass he watched the newest arrival, a pretty young goose.
[Answers to these exercises are at the end of this chapter.]
[For more practice, use Skill Exercise #6 in Part VI.]
=========================================================
Answers to the "Practice This Issue" Exercises:
Fragments
1. Even though Wiley planned every attack and bought the best equipment from Acme Manufacturing, the road runner always seemed to evade the trap.
2. The confluence of two ancient rivers in Mesopotamia is supposed to be the site of the biblical Garden of Eden.
3. Every time he comes into the room, he slams the door behind him.
Run On Sentences
1. Julie acted with a murderous rage; she was finally admitted to the psych ward for observation.
2. The two gardeners sprayed the roses, and the bugs died.
3. Stevie, the gander, nibbled at the fresh grass as he watched the newest arrival, a pretty young goose.
Chapter 5
Using Modifiers
Modifiers are those extra clauses and phrases that add information to the sentence without creating a new sentence.
With a modifier, you bring together related ideas into the same sentence, reducing one sentence to become a modifier for the main sentence. Using modifiers is a way to tighten your writing, making it more sophisticated and easier to read.
Modifiers allow you to avoid choppiness in your writing, as well. Choppiness is seen with a bunch of short sentences that are all structured the same way; reading these sentences reminds you of a train going over the tracks: clunk, clunk, clunk. Choppy writing is boring and repetitive, often putting the reader to sleep, which defeats the purpose of the writing.
The “error” while using modifiers occurs because two sentences have not been joined but could have been. Though technically correct, these choppy sentences show a lack of sophistication in the writing. Using modifiers to insert detail into your writing makes your sentences more complex and interesting.
For example,
Wrong: The electrical appliance caused a short in the wiring. The electrical appliance was an old toaster.
Better: The electrical appliance, an old toaster, caused a short in the wiring.
The better sentence is shorter and less wordy. This is, of course, a simple example. Look at your own writing; you may find many places that can use modifiers.
Several important modifiers are discussed in this chapter.
* Introductory Elements
* Noun Phrase Appositives
* Prepositional Phrases
* Adjective Clauses
* Verbal Phrases
Introductory Elements
Introductory elements are phrases or single words that begin a sentence, often stating a time or condition related to the main clause that follows. Sometimes the introductory element simply adds detail to the idea, and sometimes it combines two sentences, making one into an introductory element.
Prepositional phrases often act as Introductory Elements, usually with time, location, or condition ideas related to the main clause.
For example,
Wrong: It was morning. The army slogged through the muddy jungle.
Correct: In the morning, the army slogged through the muddy jungle.
SOME COMMON INTRODUCTORY ELEMENTS
TIME In the morning, After lunch, At sunset
ATTENTION Hey, Hey you, Yes, No, Well, John (first name), Smith (last name)
TRANSITIONS Meanwhile, Still, However, Furthermore, Generally, Indeed, In fact, First, Step one
PREPOSITIONAL PHRASES Throughout history, To begin with, For example, At the Senate Building
Punctuation
A comma always separates the introductory element from the main clause; otherwise, the words flow together, which can confuse the meaning of the sentence.
Some grammarians suggest that if the phrase is five words or fewer, no comma is necessary, but I have found that even five words before the main clause can confuse the reader.
For example,
Wrong: On Thanksgiving dinner was a feast.
The reader has to mentally insert the comma to understand the sentence.
Correct: On Thanksgiving, dinner was a feast.
Now, understanding is clear.
Even with single word expressions, I recommend a comma to separate it from the main clause.
For examples:
Wrong: Hey you over there.
Correct: Hey, you over there. Or
Correct: Hey you, over there.
The comma could be placed in two places: “Hey, you over there” indicates the person being referred to. “Hey you, over there” gives direction to you to move to another location. See how the comma changes the meaning of the sentence?
Practice This Issue:
Punctuate the Introductory Elements correctly.
1. __________ I really liked her speech.
2. __________ I realized he was right.
3. __________ the rustlers had tied up the farm hands.
[Answers to these exercises are at the end of this chapter.]
[For more practice, use Skill Exercise #7 in Part VI.]
Noun Phrase Appositives
A noun phrase appositive is a noun phrase placed next to the noun it is describing. This phrase always starts with a noun and is followed by details about that noun.
To combine the two sentences, take the pertinent information from one of the sentences and combine it with the other one. Be sure to create a noun phrase appositive.
For example,
Wrong: The laptop computer was faster than she was used to. The computer had the latest chips.
Correct: The laptop computer, one with the latest chips, was faster than she was used to.
Notice how the noun phrase appositive starts with a noun, one (as in one computer).
The “error” occurs when the two sentences are left as two complete sentences. They should be combined for tighter writing.
Location
The noun phrase appositive is usually located after the noun it describes although not always.
For example,
Correct: A city of many nationalities, London is a booming metropolis with a fantastic public transportation system.
Correct: London, a city of many nationalities, is a booming metropolis with a fantastic public transportation system.
And it can appear anywhere in the sentence, whether in the middle or at the end.
Punctuation
A noun phrase appositive is set off with commas; that is, the commas are placed before and after the noun phrase appositive since it offers extra information not necessary to make the clause whole.
Practice This Issue:
Correct these sentences to use noun phrase appositives.
1. Peggy nursed her husband back to health. Her husband was a retired real estate developer.
2. Charlie and Andrea ran across the field. They were newlyweds.
3. The food critic marveled at the cuisine set before him. He was a twenty year veteran of the food wars.
[Answers to these exercises are at the end of this chapter.]
[For more practice, use Skill Exercise #8 in Part VI.]
Prepositional Phrases
Prepositional phrases are phrases starting with a preposition. They usually indicate location, time, condition, or means of travel (see the table below).
Prepositional phrase can be placed anywhere in the sentence.
Meaning of the Words
One error occurs with choosing the right preposition with the right meaning.
For instance, people often use “over” when referring to pricing, but they should use more than since over refers to physical location.
MEANINGS OF PREPOSITIONS
LOCATION Above, among, around, at, before, behind, below, beneath, beside, besides, between, beyond, by, down, from, in front of, inside, near, next to, onto, out, out of, outside, over, past, since, through, throughout, to, toward, under, underneath, up, upon, until
QUANTITY In addition to, more than
CONDITION About, against, as, as well as, because of, besides, despite, except, instead of, like, off, until, with, within, without
TIME At, before, during, past, until
DIRECTION Around, down, up
RESULT, CONCLUSION Because of, besides, by, in addition to, instead of, since, through, throughout
Punctuation
If the prepositional phrase starts a sentence, put a comma after the prepositional phrases, to separate it from the main clause. It is serving as an Introductory Element.
If the prepositional phrase appears in the middle of the sentence, no punctuation is necessary. You might be tempted to add a comma, especially if you take a mental breath at some point, but don’t be tempted. No commas are needed.
Practice This Issue:
Add the preposition that best expresses the meaning of the sentence. Punctuate properly.
1. _____ the hill ______ the old church is the new residential development.
2. Save __________ 50% during this sale.
3. __________ his false leg, he ran the race like a true champion.
[Answers to these exercises are at the end of this chapter.]
[For more practice, use Skill Exercise #9 in Part VI.]
Adjective Clauses
Adjective clauses are dependent clauses, so writers should never consider them a complete sentence by themselves. They start with who, whom, that, which, whose. They introduce information into the sentence either in the form of a restrictive or nonrestrictive clause. Although you might see this error (I do, all the time.), they are not complete sentences.
Restrictive Clauses involve essential information for the clause; no commas are used.
Nonrestrictive Clauses involve extra information for the clause; commas are placed around the extra information.
For example,
Wrong: I recommend watching the play at the matinee. Which is the best time to view the show.
Correct: I recommend watching the play at the matinee, which is the best time to view the show.
RESTRICTIVE AND NONRESTRICTIVE CLAUSES
PEOPLE OBJECTS
RESTRICTIVE CLAUSE Who (subject) That
Whom (object)
Whose (object)
NONRESTRICTIVE CLAUSE Who (subject)
Whom (object)
Whose (object) Which
Your choice of clause will depend on whether you decide the information is essential to make the subject of the sentence make sense.
A restrictive clause provides essential information for the main clause to make sense.
A nonrestrictive clause provides extra information, which can be taken out of the clause, and the clause still makes sense.
The error occurs when the wrong adjective is used. The most common error I see is when the writer uses that when referring to people; who should be used.
Another error is mixing up that and which, so the writer uses that for extra information and which for essential information.
Practice This Issue:
Fill in the blank with the correct word to complete the adjective clause. Punctuate properly.
1. The writers _____ wrote every day had the highest publication rate.
2. The manager will be ______ever I say.
3. The bank at Elm and Walnut _______ was robbed last month burned down last night.
[Answers to these exercises are at the end of this chapter.]
[For more practice, use Skill Exercise #10 in Part VI.]
Verbal Phrases
A verbal phrase is a phrase starting with a verbal (a verb without a tense); it tells of an action that can take place at any time. So anytime you want to add a series of action statements to a sentence, consider using verbal phrases. Usually, the verbal phrases will take on a different verb form than the original verb form. In the example below, the verb is in past tense, but the verbal phrases use the gerund form (ing) of the verb.
For example,
Wordy: She got a flash of an idea. She grabbed her notebook out of her purse. She quickly found a seat. She wrote out her idea as fully as she could.
Tighter: She got a flash of an idea, grabbing her notebook out of her purse, quickly finding a seat, writing out her idea as fully as she could.
The verbal phrases might not have saved any lines but they do make the reading faster, adding energy to the already excited statement.
Verbal phrases come in three varieties:
* infinitive (to dance),
* past participial phrase (danced all night), and
* gerund, most often used (dancing all night).
Be cautious when using the past tense verb forms as a verbal because you can create problems. If the main clause’s verb is in past tense, then the additional past tense verb simply becomes a second, third, fourth, etc. verb in the sentence, creating a series of verbs. The change in tense creates the verbal phrase.
For example,
Verb Pair: Abby ran her bookstore well and made a profit.
Verbal Phrase: Abby ran her bookstore well, making a profit.
Creating verbal phrases is a great way to join sentences related in action because you are showing the relationship of the actions. However, all of the statements must have the same subject doing the action.
Remember to put the actions in chronological sequence.
Verbal phrases can also cause problems, as described below with Dangling Modifiers.
Practice This Issue:
Cross out the words and punctuation that should be eliminated by creating the verbal phrases. Be sure the information is in chronological order. Add punctuation as needed.
1. Derek built his website. He tweaked it for weeks. He hoped for comments and suggestions. He let friends look at it. He finally published it to the Internet.
2. Shirley walked past the new chocolate store. She breathed in the delicious aroma. Shirley bought two pounds of warm fudge. She debated about purchasing. She went into the store.
3. Molly trailed behind her mother. Molly grabbed a box of cereal from the lower shelf. She opened the box. Molly sat on the floor. She scooped out a handful of cereal. Molly grinned at her angry mother.
[Answers to these exercises are at the end of this chapter.]
[For more practice, use Skill Exercise #11 in Part VI.]
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Answers to the "Practice This Issue" Exercises:
Introductory Elements
1. Actually, I really liked her speech.
2. After the fact, I realized he was right.
3. Back at the ranch, the rustlers had tied up the farm hands.
Noun Phrase Appositives
1. Peggy nursed her husband, a retired real estate developer, back to health.
2. Charlie and Andrea, newlyweds, ran across the field.
3. The food critic, a twenty year veteran of the food wars, marveled at the cuisine set before him.
Prepositional Phrases
1. Over the hill past the old church is the new residential development.
2. Save more than 50% during this sale.
3. Despite his false leg, he ran the race like a true champion.