13
Life's Small, Moderate and Large Tips:
Advice for Heath, Living and Coping
Todd Daigneault
Smashwords Edition
(c)2010 Todd Daigneault
How to help an abuse victim recover
by Todd Daigneault
An abused victim is going to suffer horrendous emotional/psychological scars and signs of physical assault: bruising, scarring, broken bones, strained tendons and ligaments. The physical symptoms usually heal with little or no notice. But the emotional scars remain and they are the hardest to fully heal. Loss of trust is easily self evident, as the abusee may be reticent to talk about it, fearing that the person may judge or misjudge them and even side against them. Subsequently, comes an open floodgate of bad memories that may be repressed, or just bubbling at the surface. People who have been physically and psychologically mistreated by spouses, significant others, parents, other relatives and friends go through deep mistrust.
Trying to deal with this level of mistrust is one of several daunting tasks in helping them to recover. Nevertheless, human beings are very resilient and can recover over time-if conditions and treatment of them is conducive to their recovery. Even for those who do recover, trauma exists for a long time and may never go away totally. But even a moderate amount of recovery is better than them being perpetually traumatized. So you deal with the level of mistrust first. Giving them space and time in the beginning to sort through their conflicting and damaged emotions sets the stage for building trust. By not crowding abusees', you are speaking volumes to them.
You are showing them that you are not rushing to judgement. Additionally, you are showing faith and trust in them. Sometimes, an abused individual has to go through stages of recovery/emotional reconstruction. Acting like they are weak and shattered can cause them to lose faith in themselves-possibly blaming themselves in the process. Giving them a little time and space, talking to them here and there in the interim, and letting them build up that trust again allows them to come to you and open up.
Bringing out these strained and damaged emotions starts to get it out in the open in a more controlled fashion, as the abusee has also had the time to sort through these emotions. If they have been badly abused, sometimes therapy and counseling is needed. But as a relative or a friend, you can also help by starting to talk and listen. Be a good listener-without passing judgement. Offer a hug, cry with them. Help to release pent-up emotions. Laugh and joke too. Start heading them in the right direction towards recovery. This doesn't necessarily mean fixing them up with somebody new. Time, good listening, a big shoulder to cry on, and laughter is all good medicine on the road to their recovery.
The importance of your handshake at a job interview
by Todd Daigneault
A handshake is an ancient gesture of friendship, recognition and awareness. In today's society, it still denotes many of these things. But it also includes a non-threatening, non-sexual way of greeting each other, when a man and a woman shake hands. It is especially prevalent in business as a way of shaking hands on a deal. But it can also be a sign of greetings between a prospective employer and employee-as well as shaking hands on being hired. In a job interview, it is especially important. Without it, there is no proper business and therefore tactful way of greeting each other beyond a stoic 'hi' or 'hello.'
A handshake demonstrates these things. After all, you wouldn't hug or kiss a prospective boss. The shaking of hands sends a powerful greeting-minus any negative connotations. It demonstrates an employee of substance and character beccause they took the time to properly greet and acknowledge a boss. Something that can be a 'mirror' to future employee-customer service. Somebody who does not shake a hand in business circles sends powerfully negative signals that they may not necessarily care about their job. It may also demonstrate that the person may simply not care about their job one bit, and may just be in it for the money.
First impressions speak volumes to somebody who may hold their fate in your hands, ie a potential employer. Even if the person is just somebody from human resources and may not be directly your boss, everything you say and do is going to be written down and noted into some computer file somewhere. So even if the human resources person forgets who you are...yikes, you don't really want that anyways...that file of yours is going to be red-flagged for potential problems.
The handshake will probably not be physically noted anywhere, but the impressions will be and the recommendation will follow. A lack of a good positive greeting may denote other things wrong with you, and amplify smaller problems. A job headhunter is going to dissect you backwards and forwards, so a positive start to things is definitely in your best interest! Follow it up by a warm 'hello' and look at their eyes, not at the wall or the ceiling. Additionally, dress appropriately and carry a small list of questions that you may wish to use. Like the handshake-be inquisitive, but not overwhelming.
Teen advice: How to talk about sex with your parents
by Todd Daigneault
I'm in my early forties, and I still can't talk about sex with my parent! Yikes! That's just a little humor interjected into what is obviously a very serious matter, the rite of passage for teens: sexuality. But there is some truth to it. Depending on the generational-gap, it can be very hard to talk to your parents about sex. With so many changes to the nuclear-family, it can even be harder with a single parent who may not be the same gender as you, or a even a larger generational gap, such as an older than average parent.
Ways of getting around it, could be to talk to younger aunts, uncles, older siblings of the same gender, or even older cousins, who may not necessarily be 20 or more years older than you. They may be seen as a lot less threatening than the parents. A younger, blood relative of the same gender, who is closer to your age group may give you great advice. Also, you'll feel a lot more comfortable without a substantial age difference, enabling you to go more indepth about sex than with a much older and stronger authority figure as your parent can reflect.
An aunt or other female relative (even if they are much older) can help a lot for a teen-age female relative in helping the girl decide if it is the time for her to get into sex. Even in a two parent family, they can help by talking to the parents about it being time for their daughter to go on birth control-acting as kind of an intermediary. Or, they can encourage the daughter to talk to the parents, giving them mature advice on what they should or should not say.
The same can apply to boys with older male relatives in an approachment with their parents. Teen-age males can't become pregnant, but they can impregnate the neighbour's daughter, your best friend's daughter...and in these days even becoming sexually involved with adult females. Teen-age males, you don't want your little girlfriend, or even the neighbour's daughter to become pregnant. With adult females, you may feel like a man, but they will use your extreme youth and vitality in sexuality and then discard you after they got what they wanted and are satisfied. You may feel gratified in the beginning, but in the end feel violated or used.
Parents, you don't want your children molested by the schoolteacher, some other adult authority figure, or friend. Sometimes an adult can be just be 5-10 years older than your kids, and your kids think it's okay. Or it can be a much older adult who can be very convincing. They need proper advice that parents and professionals can give them. Without proper advice, date-rape, stalking, sexually transmitted diseases and teen-age pregnancies can result.
Teens, you have to talk to your parents, sooner rather then later, about sex. It's so important that you don't just do it, without some degree of parental and other counselling. Your parents don't have to know all of the details of your love life, but they, in conjunction with proper medical advice, should be there to guide you into what should be an important component of your adult life: love, sex and reproduction-mothers advising the daughters, fathers their sons-or both parents working together as a team..
After all, they know you can't stay as children forever. But you need help in what can be such a beautiful transition into young adulthood. They just want you to make the right decisions, as you do, yourself. The rite of passage of sexuality is so very important in a young person's life. The thing is to make the transition well into what will be a good and healthy life for you.
If adult cartoons are bad for kids, should they be aired on TV?
by Todd Daigneault
Obviously, adult cartoons should not be watched by children in the first place. Consider it like an adult-themed show done by animated characters. Cartoons like "The Simpsons" have lasted so long because it is heavy on adult themes like sex and violence (remember those Halloween episodes). If that violence was simulated on real images, those episodes would have been rated 'R'...or more likely even 'X'.
Remember the operational theme here are adult cartoons, not children's. Airing them on TV with the appropriate warning for TV is all that's necessary to keep parents of younger, impressionable children wary of their content. Many adult cartoons, like The Simpsons, carry a PG-13 TV rating (some areas rate it PG). Ratings and not banning or censorship is the ultimate way to go.
Adult cartoons had their origins in the 1970's with "Fritz the Cat", "Tarzoon, Shame of the Jungle", et al. Interestingly enough, Fritz the Cat is tame by today's standards. Graphic, ultra-violent adult comic strips appeared in that same area and have continued to this day. People of my generation will always remember the beheadings and mutilations of "Conan, the Barbarian" comic strips, and other violent, adult-orientated comic strips. The "Bugs Bunny and Roadrunner" cartoons were considered so violent that they ended up being censored by the late 1970's-and they were not even considered adult!
With computerized animation and mixing real-life actors in groundbreaking films like "Sin City", adult cartoons have taken a quantum leap forwards. Adult cartoons are here to stay, to be aired and should be watched by adults-children watching with adult supervision-only at certain ages, usually fourteen or above. Children should be children and not grow up too fast into an adult-themed and orientated world. "Family Guy" another hilarious adult artoon, heavily-labelled with mature humor and themes, almost, if not already an 'R' rated cartoon, should only be watched by adults. The language and humor is much higher than the Simpsons. The ultimate point here is that these are cartoons only in the loosest sense. They are more adult-themed TV shows done in animation and should never be shown to children...unless with strong adult-supervision.
TV violence has been a strong, dominant theme for well over thirty years. I remember as a child in that era, shows like "SWAT" and "Police Story", being cited for their extreme violence-and they are almost tame and norm by today's standards. As a society, maybe we've gotten too used to watching these "safely displayed", ultra-violent images on TV, computers and video games, as well as in our increasingly violent society...and world. Perhaps showing these images are really like a two-edged sword (so to speak), showing the reality of the world, instead of sanitizing and censoring them from all, including children. Or traumatizing them to the ultra-violent world, which has led to many school shootings and horribly brutal bullying incidents.
But if we start imposing bannings and censorships of adult cartoons, do we return to an era when sex and sexuality was never discussed openly? An era when women were treated like sex objects and carriers of children only, and it was considered okay for a man to run around with as many women as possible....if a woman did it with the opposite gender, she was a "slut" and a "whore". We have evolved so much as a society, and our entertainment industry reflected such changes. Society has grown so much, especially in the last number of years.
To start taking shows off TV for certain content sullies us all as a society, taking us away from enlightenment and knowledge to a dark and foreboding place, where freedom is just a memory and everything is fair game for oppression. Certainly no small seven or eight year old child should be traumatized to extreme violence and sexuality on TV. That's why we sit with our young children and watch the right shows with them, so they can be kids and chasing butterflies. So our little Timothy and Jennifer can look at a cloud and see nothing but beautiful images. But to take away the images on TV only in the end shows us all an oppressive, Orwellian-like world.
Recognising con artists in relationships
by Todd Daigneault
Con artists in most cases will stick out like a "sore thumb"-but a person may be so blinded by love and lust that they ignore the obvious signs. When they do not stick out, usually the charm is being ladled out so well that the honest, nice person in love may not see it for what it really is: cruel deception and deceptive practices, under the guise of love. In the beginning of most relationships, the caring, real loving and attentive partner should do some checking on their partner-be they male or female. Many individuals do this, but a lot end up being swayed by love and lust, as the con artist is usually very handsome or beautiful, well-spoken with exactly the right kinds of words and phrases to say.
They may even shower you with some moderately priced or expensive gifts. Even if it is just flowers, a person may be so taken by it that common sense goes out the door. If the trusting partner thinks that the other has money, they may end up easily dropping their guard. Such nefarious individuals may even have phoney names and faked histories. Having things that can be verified is absolutely essential. But also remember, most people are a little larcenous in the beginning to get a relationship and may fudge the truth a bit. But be wary and leery of huge uuntruths and unverifiable information.
Such individuals usually are well versed and practiced in what to say. Con artistry, whether it is to gain money, sex or control over a romantic partner runs very rampant in our society. Certainly, if the charm is ladled out in the right proportions and blend, the person in love may ignore all of the warning signs and warmy embrace the person with love and sex. Human beings need love, and sometimes people who are not getting it are usually the most to fall subservient to the con's spells. Even if they have been finding it, they can still be very vulnerable to a man who comes in like a knight in shining armor and sweeps them off their feet. Or a beautiful women, who dresses just the right way, wears the right amount of perfume and is an incredible seductress or enchantress.
Somebody using deception, double-dealing and treachery in a relationship may also be controlling their victims through emotional/psychological and physical abuse. The person being used in such a way can be the smartest, lesser or least able to be controlled or dominated and still be brought to their knees. Emotional fortitude may simply not be enough, as the feeling of love, ecstasy and bliss overrides their emotional wronged 'circuit breakers.' If somebody is attacking you for no real or viable reason, in a relationship, and is seeking money and assets that you may have-be careful and recognize it for what it is. This type of abuse is very dominant in our society and crosses all spectrums of age, race and income levels.
Taking the time to get to know somebody is critical in those formative stages of a relationship. Go by your intuition and check out such individuals. There are a number of modestly priced online databases that can check on people's backgrounds and criminal records. If they are using an alias or have cleverly covered their tracks, query them for proof of said things. This doesn't mean doing this for everybody who comes into your life. But if intuition and things just don't seem right about a person romantically entering your life, do some discreet checking and querying of the person before it is too late.
Protecting your assets is crucial. Never turn over large sums of money or control of your assets to conning persons. Such people work fast and may demand a turn over of your money and other assets within weeks of the beginning of a relationship. This should set off huge warning bells in your mind. Even if it seems harmless-definitely wait awhile and consult others if you have too. The odds are good that the scammer will run like a cockroach caught in the open.
5 substitutes for suicide
by Todd Daigneault
WALKING THROUGH A PARK OR OTHER NATURAL SURROUNDING. Walk through a park is a good substitute for suicide. Communing with nature and seeing the surrealistic beauty of creation all around you is an excellent substitute. By walking through a natural surrounding, one not only sees the beauty of nature, but feel the peaceful contentment of it all that can drown out the sinister negativity of suicidal thoughts. Watching the tiny animals scurry about on the wilderness floor, amidst the majestic trees and other stunningly beautiful and majestic serene flora and fauna, can calm a hyperactive, suicidal mind.
BEING WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS. Suicidal people can fixate on so many negative thoughts, it's like an endless, sad and meandering loop of tears, grief and terribly dark distress that play in the mind over and over again. Talking to good friends and family can help remove the negative fixation, if even for awhile. The distressed person can get a better picture of what their family and friends really mean and how important they are to them. Good conversations, memories and laughter is a good morale-booster. Also, think of the healthy endorphins being released.
EXERCISE. It's one of the greatest morale boosters around. Walking, running, bicycling, working out with friends at the local health spa is an excellent morale-booster. The suicidal person gets the endorphins release, seeing nature, and the strong possibility of being with friends in their assorted exercise routines. Feeling good about one's self and being healthy is an excellent primer for life and health-two things that the suicidal thoughts and tendencies are gunning for...Exercise becomes one of the best substitutes for suicide, as your mind automatically is programmed for excellent health, re-routing the suicidal thoughts to more dark and recessive areas of the human psyche, where they belong in the first place.
COMEDY. Laugh a lot. Pull out a George Carlin, or other comedian DVD and laugh your guts out. Anything that can take your mind off suicidal tendencies is an excellent substitute for suicide. Humor makes us all feel good and opens up our consciousness more to the good and possibilities of life and living. Through the expansion of your consciousness, be it humor, good and thoughtful conversation and other positive creative thoughts comes a more thoughtful and positive outlook on life. A sad and negative thought loop can be replaced by a powerful life and living loop.
WORK. Immersing yourself in the complex intricacies of one's daily work routine can be an excellent substitute for sitting in a dark and solitary room, contemplating suicide. Being in a more normal routine is an excellent substitute for suicide. It's when the causes of the suicidal thoughts (and the thoughts, themselves) push people away from life, living and normalcy that they become the substitute for living.
Marathon training program for beginners
by Todd Daigneault
Depending on the physical state of the marathon runner to be, it can take anywhere from a year to two years to be able to do a marathon. It will not happen in six weeks, eight weeks or even twelve weeks, unless you are already running close to twenty miles without serious problems. If you are, doing a marathon certainly is not that far away. You can use the next number of weeks to "breach" the much dreaded "wall" of the 20-mile barrier, where the body's physical and mental reserves are tested to be able to go on to the finish line.
Before you start training for a marathon, have your heart checked out by a physician. Even if it is in sound physical shape, you may have congenital heart defects that you are not even aware of. Such defects can be aggravated by intensive training and the marathon itself. Make sure you are well hydrated during the training process and the marathon itself. Wear proper shock absorbing and foot supporting running shoes to avoid injuries.
For those just starting running, the secret is to be able to do six-twelve miles of running with 6-12 months (the 1-2 year program, depending on your physical state). You start by doing 15-30 small runs (maybe a mile or two) for the first 4-8 weeks. A beginning to even an advanced runner should not train everyday. Even with good shoes, it can increase the chance for injuries because the stress load on your joints, tendons, bones and muscles increase greatly. You need time to recover from your workouts and for the muscles to grow and develop. Training everyday can also tire the body out, making the body more susceptible to viruses and bacteria as the immune system becomes stressed.
If you can handle that well(wearing proper shoes and baggy loose fitting running clothes during your runs), you progress to stage II: increasing the distance to 4-6 miles within the next 8-16 weeks (remember I'm going by the state of your physical health). Also start running faster, sprinting if you can for as long as you can handle. A beginning runner is not expected to break the four minute mile, or even the seven minute mile throughout the race.
Your objective for the first race is to finish safely-with no serious complications. Running fast and sprinting during your training helps build up endurance. Even add some steep hills to your training, as part of your normal training run, or as a separate workout. Hills are fantastic for building up endurance. But be careful in those early weeks.
Stage III: increase your running distance to 8-12 mile runs over the next 16-32 weeks. By now, your endurance and strength should be coming up substantially. Keep at that level over the next 4-8 weeks. If you start going through bouts of inclement weather, try your best to tailor your runs around the weather. If it is too hot out, try running in the morning or evening. If it is too cold, dress more warmly but don't layer yourself in clothes.
As the one year marathon runner's training time starts to approach, start doing fifteen mile runs at least five times a month, with ten 8-12 mile runs inbetween. For those on the two year training schedule, increase the amount of 15 mile runs to about 7 a month. As both training groups schedule's come within the last three months before the race do two 20 mile runs a month, added to about fifteen twelve mile runs a month.
As both training groups come within the last two weeks before the marathon, rest or do some moderate walking. Start building up your glycogen stores (the food energy stored in your muscles) and start really studying your race map so you are fully familiarized with the course. Make sure you get adequate rest in the intervening last few weeks before the race.
Good luck!
The benefits of vitamins for the elderly
by Todd Daigneault
Vitamins (and other supplements) can have an enormous positive benefit on the health of senior citizens, and judging by the sales of these to the elderly-they know it. As the body ages, the immune system starts to degrade. Eventually, even a flu could lead to pneumonia, hospitalization...and even death. Keeping the immune system strong through supplements and the synergistic combination of a good, well-balanced diet should be absolutely mandatory for anybody past sixty-five.
Any nutrient that can stimulate the production of the naturally-produced, anti-pathogenic interferon, such as Vitamin 'C', especially in an 'Ester-C' compound (basically, vitamin 'C' bound to a calcium molecule) is good for the much older human immune system. By binding Vitamin 'C' to a calcium molecule, the vitamin is better absorbed and utillized (average Vitamin 'C' is usually very quickly excreted through the system, wasting much of it). Ester-'C' can also stimulate the production and efficiency of white blood cells, the immune system's 'Special Ops' units in dealing with biological invaders. Such a nutrient is extremely beneficial to the elderly person's immune system, and is relatively inexpensive. Other immune-enhancers include Resveratrol, Maitake, Reishi and Cordyceps.
Other benefits of supplements for the elderly can include cholesterol reduction and strengthening of the heart, also from Cordyceps-it strengthening the heart to the point where a rapid heart beat from an overworked, weakened heart can be reduced-dangerous arrythmias being alleviated or prevented. This is good for the senior who may be suffering from congestive heart failure. A stronger heart can prolong the lives of a senior weakened by heart disease...and more importantly give them a better quality to life. Cordyceps is also good for those seniors suffering from weak lungs and poor oxygenation, such as from COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) and other chronic lung diseases such as asthma. It substantially improves the body's oxygen to red blood cell ratio, helping to give a new lease of life on those suffering from chronic lung diseases. COQ10 is also good for treating heart disease (especially congestive heart failure) and chronic lung diseases by increasing the amount of energy to the cellular mitochrondria.
'B' vitamins are also good for all mental processes, skin, hair, eyes...Vitamin 'A' and Beta-Carotene: skin, hair, mucous membranes, and lungs...Vitamin 'E': heart, reproductive organs, and strong anti-oxidant. Seniors should avoid multivitamin supplements, as they are usually in weak dosages. Additionally, seniors should buy natural supplements, taking them in much higher than RDA-dosages, which are obsolete-decades out of date.
Tips for buying a gym membership as a gift
by Todd Daigneault
A gym membership can be a great thing to give, especially in an era where society is more attuned to being healthy, through fitness and better diet . But make sure the recipient of your gift really wants one (and will work out there). Don't buy one for a relative or friend who is overweight...big no-no. They may feel very self-conscious already about their appearance. Love them for who they are, don't try and change them. If you do, somebody may end up trying to change you...and you wouldn't like that. Don't buy it out of a feeling of superiority, complacency, arrogance, etc. Buy a gym membership out of love and respect for somebody who will really use it and cherish it, like the aspiring, weekend or seasoned athletes in your inner-circle, or those social butterflies who love who love to talk, socialize and fraternize.
If you are buying it for a friend or family member, maybe you should get one for yourself and accompany them. When you buy any gym membership as a gift, always read the fine print of the accompanying contact, whether oral and/or written. Make sure there are no hidden fees or surcharges, see what place gives the best access to all of the equipment and services for the money paid. Be wary of pushy staff, just trying to make a commission. Thoroughly check out the health club you bought it at. Some places have aging and even dangerous equipment, staff and members that can be rude or even potentially dangerous
Go for a complimentary workout there, yourself, whether or not you buy one for yourself. Check the state of the equipment, what kind of members go there, and how the staff and management are. Sometimes, the staff and management can be extremely pushy, arrogant, very exclusive and downright rude behind your back. If you wouldn't work out there, why would you want the recipient of your gift to work out there? Always shop around, looking carefully at all of their competition with a keen eye. Health clubs are everywhere in your area. Don't just buy any old membership and dump it on your unsuspecting victim and strut around very proud afterwards. The person for whom you gave the gift to may look at you very bleary-eyed afterwards. If you are not certain about a gym membership, buy them something else. Don't just dump it into their lap without careful investigation and vetting.
Think very carefully about that gym membership even if your gift recipient is athletic, even an ardent athlete may not want one. Not every athlete is interested in gyms; some abhor them or rarely use them. Remember that before you buy them. Gyms like a lot of other things can be an acquired taste. Some people are comfortable with just swimming, running or bicycling, outside of the health club circles. Make sure they will really use it, not using it for a handful of times and then letting it lapse permanently.
How to tell the difference between love and obsession
by Todd Daigneault
Love is when everything in the world makes sense. Obsession is when nothing in the world makes sense to you-and you go out of your way to control it-so it makes complete sense to your dictatorial beliefs and standards. Love is seeing the beauty in all creation-obsession is to try and change the order of creation. Unfortunately, obsession does exist, and is usually the result of a sociopathic, even psychotic break with reality. There are also degrees of obsession that still fits within the parameters of love, all the way up to killing one's self and their partner, just to preserve the distorted logic that can accompany obsessive thoughts. A distorted view of the world certainly can accompany such thinking and is usually something asymptomatic of something much deeper and more sinister.
Love is kindness and concern for one's partner and the world at large-its negative side is about just using their partner for sex and selfish needs-brutalizing their partner in the process, in a most unkind, insensitive, tactless way. The perception of love sees the universe as a beautiful orchestrated symphony of sights, colors and sound. The other way sees utter chaos, disorder and profoundly ugly sights that have to be subjucated and dominated. But love can also become so deep and inseparable that it verges on total and unadulterated obsession. The two are quite separate, yet infinitely and ultimately inextricably linked linked. Yet, It can so easily become love's dark and sinister counterpart, totally lacking empathy, courage, hope and awareness, in a blind, yet sighted domination and disregard..
In our society, we've seen it all and more than likely experienced even the 'dark twin.' Love is such an intoxicating elixir that it can push anybody into total and unfettered obsession, by varying degrees. After all, we are human beings, full of emotions. Younger people and first loves are the most vulnerable. But such behavior crosses all age groups, races and socioeconomic groups. But usually it finds a happy, healthy balance-by both sides. Somebody walking out after years of being together can also easily trigger it off. Yet, it can happen as quickly as a few dates.
Extreme fear and serious problems can result if the lines are crossed with the obsessed person having a serious and potentially dangerous break with reality. But in many cases, the lines between love and obsession are not breached seriously enough to cause serious problems. Awareness of not to being too engulfed in the caressing, warm waves of love helps to mitigate. But it will always exist as love's dark and sinister counterpart.
How to detect depression
by Todd Daigneault
One common sign of depression is withdrawal from friends and family. Depressed people usually fixate or center themselves on intense negativity (depending on the severity of their depression), and tend to gravitate away from friends and family (who may have far more of a positive attitude). Or else, being family and friends, they may be able to see the depression. Clinical, or non-clinical depression, can eventually lead to the entertainment of sucidal thoughts.
To a depressed person, withdrawal can be a necessity until the depression is resolved (one way or another). The mind has to process enormous amounts of information relating to what caused the depression, in a bid to either resolve it (or not). Sometimes there is no resolution as the depressed human mind crashes like a computer-where the individual can be hospitalized, or is seriously contemplating suicide...or has already done it.
Withdrawal is the most common sign of depression. Usually it is into very private areas with no TV, Internet, cell-phones and people, or into food, smoking, alcohol or drugs. Symptoms of depression can include irritability, fits of rage, loss of appetite, spontaneous crying, excessive sleeping or lack of sleep. Depressed individual's normal day to day cycles can be severely affected, compounding their existing state of mind manifold. The body starts to be affected by the depression-as ther mind-body are symbiotically linked. The physical effects of prolonged or frequent depression can include frequent and more intense colds and the flu, hypertension, headaches, migraines, ulcers, high blood pressure, etc.
Another sign of depression is poor work performance, as the depressed individual has difficulty dealing with normal day-to-day cycles. Excessive anger directed at co-workers, family and friends can also be a sign of depression. Anger that can't be vented is a sign of depression-remember suicide is anger vented inwards. Even excessive tardiness or not showing up at work for extended periods can be a sign of depression, as the person withdrawals from the human collective.
Substance abuse, gambling, sex addiction and other compulsive, addictive behavior can definitely be a sign of depression. Lack of self-worth and self-esteem can be another symptom of depression. But it's okay to be depressed once in awhile...you may lose a job...a boyfriend/girlfriend...whateve r. Life can be brutally hard on us all, right. If you can't dust yourself off and go on, you may need additional help. However, in most cases you don't...or shouldn't. Just watch yourself closely if your depression becomes excessive or prolonged, affecting your life and relationships, then you may need additional help.
Money issues for singles
by Todd Daigneault
Money issues for singles can be just as vast for marrieds and living togethers. It all depends on how long the single wants to stay single, too. If somebody just intends to stay single and is just dating, money issues can be as varied as putting away for retirement, being able to support one's self, maybe having to help take care of sick and aged relatives, getting and maintaining lines of credit to help get a car, a condo, a house, or travelling through Europe or some other far-flung forweign location to where you are.
Also, you may wish to go back to school to get a better job or a promotion at your existing job, as you start to scale the ladder of life to bigger and better things. There can also be the money issue of carrying debt for that and other acquisitions that we all want in our life to make it more of a decent existence is what all singles and non-singles want. A decent existence can easily entail climbing through all of the ladders and hoops to get the ever increasing better things in life till we all a reach a point of personal satisfaction and security. Being single is full of financial pitfalls and many unanswered financial questions that reach into every point of our existence. At least some degree of financial planning becomes absolutely critical.
Most of us don't plan to be single forever. But we are still daunted sometimes by extreme money issues (as if we were more than one). There can be issues of being a single parent and paying your part of child support every month, as well as saving and investing monies to help put your child through university. There can also be the paying of legal fees to lawyers to get child support from the non-paying other parent, as well as getting alimony. So, being single can have just as money money issues, or more than being in a relationship.
Sticking with the theme of being a single parent, there can be paying for clothes, food, schoolbooks and fees for your child. There can be the paying into little Timmy and Jennifer's soccer camp. While all of this is going on, your mom and/or dad might have to go into a nursing home and you might have to pay part of it. You can be single with money issues at any age, any point in your life, for we live a life complicated by many unanswered financial questions that need planning from the get-go, to avoid unnecessary financial storms down the road. With careful planning, comes a ship of life that navigates the ocean well, mostly through calm and placid beautifully-sparkling blue oceans.
How to become a runner
by Todd Daigneault
So you want to join that elite group of usually scantily clad, sweaty superhumans, whom we see flying across traffic, cross country and uphills. As a member of that group (1980-), it takes a number of things not just to become a runner-but to do it properly and safely. Those, like myself, who did it safely and properly are still doing it. The ones who didn't usually suffered sometimes terrible injuries, quit and ended up doing some other sport, went to the health club...or did nothing from that point on.
To become a runner (safely and properly) it takes good shock absorbing shoes. Your vehicle has shocks, you need them too. Without a good shock absorbing shoe, that wonderful creation known as the human body is going to be subjected to incredible stresses. Eventually you'll get an injured knee, a leg injury, or strained back. All of which could become quite serious, discouraging you enough to quit.
You don't have to worry about astronomical costs. The thrift stores usually have a lot of good air and gel shock absorbing shoes that have been hardly worn with proper support for a mere fraction of the cost. Proper support is important for some runners can pronate when they run (the foot turns inwards) causing more stress on your body.
Don't overdress and carry a water bottle when you run. They are big mistakes for beginning runners and usually identify them as amateurs. Heavy layered clothes are going to make you sweat, and the ensuing loss of fluids are going to make you very uncomfortable and drain not only your bodily fluids but those important nutrients that go along with it. Light, more roomier clothes such as tank tops or baggy shirts and light, airy shorts should be the norm in warmer times. Unless you are running in extreme cold, don't wear track pants.
Get rid of that water bottle! Unless you are running in the desert-you don't really need it. Stopping every ten minutes or so for a drink is going to interfere with your normal running-cycle. Your body does have to adapt to some physical stresses, especially if you are going to run marathons or other ultra distances. Besides, do you want dead weight clamped to your side when you run. Get a cold drink before you leave and one when you finish.
If it is especially
hot-definitely bring the water bottle. But for beginning runners,
avoid the heat until your body is more physically stronger and
adaptable to the heat. You could have a heat stroke quite easily.
That is usually the least event that can happen. A beginning runner
could have a heart attack in extreme heat.
I usually avoid it and
wait till it cools down.
Pace yourself when you run. If you head out in some kind of blitz across your neighbourhood, you could find yourself totally out of energy. Eat properly to get this energy in the first place. You don't have to eat twigs and berries. I still eat junk food-in moderation. Eat foods that can sustain the energy your muscles need (glycogen)such as pasta and other complex-carbohydrates. No low-carb diets in distance running.
Carry your IPOD with you (I still carry an old cassete walkman). Music can be very uplifting and inspiring when you are trying to go that extra mile or climb that big hill. Music and running together can easily double the amount of endorphens your body releases during excersise, giving you a feeling of euphoria. They will help build your distance up better over time.
Get a pedometer and keep a log of all your runs. You have to be methodical here. Logs are important to see exactly where you are in your training; where you may need improvements and such. And remember, the most important thing is to have fun!
How to develop a running habit
by Todd Daigneault
So you want to develop a running habit. First of all, you must have a strong desire to get into running. You can't develop a running habit if you hate running. Many beginning runners have many preconceived notions about running, such as: if you run too hard you can get a heart attack, running on concrete will give you injuries, etc. To develop a running habit, you must eliminate your preconceived notions-or this very healthy habit will be delayed. I mean once you're into running, it's no problem. But getting there is hard.
To properly develop this habit, you must not start your running habit by blitzing across your running paths like a Panzer tank. Don't do anything to discourage yourself or you'll never get into this running habit. Negative psychology can be very detrimental. Injuring yourself is going to be very discouraging, especially if you're just starting something too. Don't drink raw eggs like you've seen some health guru too. Salmonella could be very discouraging.
Start developing your running habit by gradually increasing the amount of times you run. As your strength and physical prowess start to develop, you'll get lots of positive reinforcement which will turn your running into a running habit. Feel good about it and you'll want to come back to running every time. Proper running can generate a state of euphoria, which will make you want to come back every time.
An overview of sleep disorders in adults
by Todd Daigneault
There are many sleep disorders that affect adults. The most common one is insomnia, usually brought on by stress, illness, injuries and poor diet, including excessive intake of caffeine or other stimulants such as nicotine. Insomnia is a huge problem, leading to loss of on the job productivity and general decline in health as the immune system and cardio-system are compromised due to their inability to rest and regenerate.
Night terrors also afflicts many people. This disorder, usually brought on by a misfiring of chemicals in the brain creates an illusory state that is different from normal dreaming REM sleep-usually happening an hour or two into sleep. People in this altered state of consciousness have seen and interacted with beings occupying the proper spatial state of normal three-dimensional humans. Stress can be a huge factor in this disorder (including Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome) and caffeine and other stimulants.
Bruxism afflicts many adults. This slow, but relentless grinding down of one's own teeth is usually brought on by people suffering some degree of emotional distress and people who may have aggressive, obssessive, competitive and compulsive behaviors. It usually happens during nighttime, but can happen in the daytime too as the symbiotic mind-body link plays out in the wearing down of one's own teeth to the point of teeth loss and jaw damage (if the sufferer is unaware of it). Usually some behavioral modification and a dental appliance prevents it.
Narcolepsy afflicts certain centers of the brain that control and regulate normal sleep and wake cycles. This chronic neurological condition afflicts these biological gauges to the point where the victim could suddenly just fall asleep when they were not ready to or not tired. These sudden bouts of sleepiness may last from several minutes to an hour. There is no known cause for it. Informed speculation is a myriad of factors converging to cause this life-long affliction.
There is sleep apnea
and chronic obstructive apnea. Sleep apnea seems to becaused by some
kind of break down in the central nervous system; either the muscles
that control the breathing don't get the signal or the sleep centers
of the brain misfire or don't send the signal. This in turn causes
the body to stop breathing, sometimes up to several hundred times a
night-causing poor sleep cycles. Obstructive apnea is usually caused
by something blocking the windpipe, such as acid-reflux, inflamed or
swollen tonsils, large amounts of fatty tissue present in the throat
and relaxed
throat muscles-causing an interruption in the
breathing cycle.
Nutrition basics for runners
by Todd Daigneault
Runners should avoid high-fat, high-in-bad cholestrol, high-in-trans-fat foods as much as possible. These foods greatly contribute to heart disease and can greatly impede your running over time with their artery blocking machinations. As a runner you should try and keep your indulgences in these areas to an absolute minimum, if you want to run at peak performance...and beyond. Besides, these foods also contribute to obesity-something a runner definitely does not want. Obesity can also bring running to halt, lead to debilitating injuries in the intervals from the excess weight, possibly even leading to morbid obesity, as the system and metabolism continue to seemingly grind to a halt.
Nutritional basics should also include pasta and whole, unbleached grains. Any complex carbohydrates help build up the body's stores of glycogen (the energy stores from food) in muscles that help drive them, keeping the runner going. Stay away from refined, overprocessed carbohydrates as much as possible. Eat whole grain breads, cereals and rice. Whole grains contain the Vitamin "B" complex and Vitamin "E". Vitamin "B" complex enhances food-energy conversion and release; Vitamin "E" helps protect the heart and is excellent for longevity.
Also, eat salads and plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. They are full of vitamins and other nutrients such as antioxidants that help prevent premature aging, heart disease and cancers by neutralizing free radicals. You can also take vitamin and herbal supplements, too. But there is no substitute for good fruits and vegetables, which may have unknown nutritional components that synergistically enhance or act as an adjunct to the known nutrional substances. Eat lean meats and poultry for those all important amino acids, creatine and protein to help repair and grow your muscles. Eggs are also a good high-protein choice for an athlete, additionally containing excellent nutrients such as lecithin, vitamins "A", "D", and "E".