What others are saying about
The Logical Magic of Change
"For its down to earth clarity, and its wealth of affirmations on a range of life issues, I highly recommend The Logical Magic of Change."
—
Christine N. Herbert, Founder Wise Women Online
"Valerie Thompson manages to make deep spiritual and
psychological truths accessible, digestible - and most importantly -
useful." — Karen
Wilkins, Business Psychologist: People in Context
" [This
book] not only helped me to restructure my life and bring about
changes but also to recover the self-esteem, self-love and
positivity I had lost. Thank you! " —
Nicola Vaughan, Founder/Manager
Jasmines Beauty Salon and Spa, now in its twentieth year
"I
am not at all good at affirmations, but when faced with various
health issues I found The Logical
Magic of Change a real help." —
Mrs Lucas, New York
"The
LOGIC is to just pick this book up and read it! Although the first of
its type I've read so much rang true, and it has definitely helped me
feel better about myself." — Stefan
Betty, London
"..an excellent handbook on a quick and effective method to bring about change in thinking, feeling and behaving."
— Wendy Stokes, author, The Light Workers’ Circle Guide
"The Logical Magic of Change is simply written and easy to understand but at the same time thought provoking. It’s the ideal book for getting back on track, and makes you think about things in a different way, while at the same time confirming what you already know…"
— Zita Ginger, East Sussex
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The Logical Magic of Change
How to cope with just about anything
AND bring about positive change
By
Valerie Thompson
SMASHWORDS EDITION
~~~~
Published by Valerie Thompson on Smashwords
ISBN 978-0-9565859-1-2
Copyright © Valerie Elizabeth Thompson 2010
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form by photocopying or any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage or retrieval systems, without permission in writing from both the copyright owner and the publisher.
Smashwords Edition License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Cover Image © Roman Okopny, Getty Images and istockphoto
First published in paperback in Great Britain in June 2010 by CALMRISE PUBLISHING, P. O. Box 181, BN24 9EU England.
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About the Author
Valerie Thompson is author of Mastering the Euromarkets, Irwin Professional Publishing, 1996, and her life story forms part of the National Sound Archives’ social history project City Lives on account of her career achievements. In 1973, aged 16, she joined Salomon Brothers, (the pre-eminent Wall Street firm at the time, since absorbed into Citigroup) and worked her way up from a telex operator to become a director of the company and head of fixed income syndicate. Upon leaving Salomon, in 1987, she set up her own business, and for the next seventeen years provided consulting, recruitment, training, and outplacement services to financiers. She is now a certified professional coach, specialising in executive and life coaching, and a writer.
From 1986 until 1989 she formally studied mind-power and positive thinking under a leading American New Thought movement that is now part of United Centres for Spiritual Living. In 1990 she co-founded, with Heather Andrews-Dobbs, The Thomas Troward Society. Judge Troward was one of the founding fathers of New Thought/Positive Thinking. For more information, please visit the author’s web site
http://www.valerieelizabeththompson.com
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Disclaimer
This book is based on the author’s experience. Any/all affirmations, opinions, recommendations, statements and suggestions are provided as a general guide only. The author and the publisher assume no responsibility whatsoever for your actions. Outcomes, successful or otherwise, which you consider to be the result of having read this book, are your responsibility.
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Chapter One: New Ways, New Possibilities, New Thoughts
The creative power of thought: how it works and what works best
Self-doubt and fear; why it exists, and why it’s not your fault
What the credit crunch teaches us
The superior power of positive thoughts
Sickness, suffering and negativity; myths dispelled
Why it’s important to affirm in the ‘now’
Gratitude, reciprocity and faith
Chapter Two: Off With the Old: Preparing For More & Better
Self-honour, tough-love and selflessness
Generalisations, labels and the judgment trap
Good vibrations; knowledge is power
Denying pain; the risks of flooding the mind
Don’t overdo it: the benefits of not thinking
Focus on yourself: the pitfalls of affirming to change others
Feeling your way: It’s never about them; they don’t have that much power
Silver linings; personal examples
Spot the magic and miracles; personal examples
Chapter Three: Forever Forward: Affirmations to Positively Change Course
Affirmations to:
Assuage/dispel: anger, anxiety, stress and worry
Recover from: disappointment, frustration, and mistakes
Banish self-doubt / Improve self-esteem (1)
Banish self-doubt / Improve self-esteem (2)
Affirmative prayers and affirmations to:
Using the mind’s eye; suggestions/tips to aid visualisations
Affirmative prayer for self-love
Bibliography and suggested reading
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Dedication
I dedicate this book to Edgar D. Aronson of Maine, U.S.A., who uttered three words that changed my life: “You start Monday”. That particular Monday was June 15th, 1973, and my first day working at Salomon Brothers. I approached Eddie, who ran the London operation, after being rejected twice for a job as a telex operator, and my interview with him lasted about ninety seconds. I didn’t sit down, I just blurted out that I could do the job and that I ought to be given it. He listened to me, and then uttered those magic words. Eddie’s faith in me never wavered, and I shall remain forever grateful to him for believing in me, and for giving me the time of day in the first place.
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Acknowledgements
I would like to thank Mariko Tanabe and Victoria Reeves for their invaluable feedback on the first draft of this book, Ann Botha for her suggestions, and Linda Hardman and Zita Ginger for their comments on the final draft. I would also like to thank my beloved children, Claire and Alex, for their encouragement and support, as well as their partners, Nick Ansell and Anne Unwin respectively, both of whom I treasure. The late Rev. Nona Coxhead-Bell, under whom I studied metaphysics, also deserves a very special mention. Without her this book might not exist.
To close friends mentioned and unmentioned, thank you for your precious gift of friendship. I carry each of you in my heart, and am all the richer for doing so.
Valerie Thompson, East Sussex, May, 2010
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My early life was grim and even though I didn’t know the term affirmations, I was using them to both shore me up and spur me on. They constitute the secret behind how, despite extreme nervousness and little in the way of education, I found/summoned the wherewithal to understand finance, leading to my life story being in the National Sound Archives, and my writing a book about the financial markets.
They were also instrumental in my decision to leave my City job in 1987 and set up a small business, helping me to both clarify my goals and to manage the adjustment. As a single parent and the sole breadwinner, I had to work but I needed and wanted a better balance. Positive thinking was also behind my decision, in 2004, to embark on a radical change. I subsequently gave up paid work, down-sized so as to free up funds to live on, and relocated from London to the Sussex coast, on my own and to an area I can’t recall ever visiting. I did this in part to further develop as a writer, in particular to write a novel, and I have now finished my first work of fiction.
Affirmations have healed, soothed and inspired me throughout my life, and in my view represent the greatest aid to positive change at mankind’s disposal. The mind is an amazing, incredible tool which, when fed well and aligned with the heart, will not let us down.
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Thank you for buying this book.
Since 1986, when for three years I formally studied the power of the mind and the value of positive thinking, I have used affirmations as they have an invaluable role to play at every stage of change. How they work, why they work and which ones are most appropriate at any given time, however, needs to be better understood.
It’s easy to think positively when we feel great and anything but easy when we feel lousy, and over optimistic declarations can both confuse and deflate. Start affirming you love yourself unconditionally when you were raised to believe the opposite and the chances are you’ll quit, because you don’t believe it and/or because the emotions stirred up overwhelm you.
I AM WILLING TO CONSIDER I MAY ACTUALLY BE LIKEABLE.
MY PERCEPTION OF MYSELF IS CHANGING FOR THE BETTER.
When affirming you must take your constitution and history into account. Realistic affirmations can also take you much further much more quickly than unrealistic ones. For example, if you happen to be struggling to find a solution to a dilemma or a problem, the following may ring more true than reciting that all is wonderful in your life, and as such, prove to be more helpful, triggering insights and ideas that result in a resolution.
I AM WILLING TO BELIEVE THERE IS HELP AVAILABLE TO ME.
I AM WILLING TO ACCEPT THAT I AM DESERVING OF HELP.
I AM NOW OPENING MY MIND TO PEACEFUL SOLUTIONS.
I AM MANAGING THIS SITUATION WITH EVER GREATER EASE.
I AM FINDING A WAY THROUGH THAT IS GOOD FOR ALL CONCERNED.
I AM GROWING THROUGH THIS EXPERIENCE.
Providing that it’s humanly possible and not, say, the re-growth of an amputated leg, you can achieve whatever you can imagine yourself achieving. Positive change, however, comes about in two distinct ways; from the inside out and from the outside in. Sometimes we grow inwardly before claiming more in the outside world. At other times the opposite is true, and in this situation, the catch up on the inside needs to be handled delicately, as all hearts are fragile. Male or female – it doesn’t matter. We are all kids spawned from the same incredible life force; all sensitive beneath the surface; all wanting more and better of something – be it emotional or material – and we are all aching to get what it is that we want, ASAP.
This is natural. If we didn’t want more we would be shrinking away from life, but to get more and hang on to it, we must approach things in the right way, which includes resisting the urge to make comparisons. Appearances can be very deceptive and to compare how we feel with how someone else looks, as we tend to do, is a crucial step in need of removal. After all, no two people are alike – if they were one would be redundant. As such, what enables one person to realise their dream can be night and day different to what enables another person to realize the same dream. Some people need to get a grip while others may need to relax their grip in one respect or another; a fact which is true for most of us. We are all a bundle of contradictions because we have a soul self, the wise side of us if you like, and a human self, and the two don’t always agree.
ONLY GOOD COMES TO ME FROM READING THIS BOOK.
Reciting the last affirmation, silently or aloud, as you prefer, will ensure you take from this book only what you need and want. You can also modify it for meetings: Only good comes to me from attending this event: Only good comes to me from my meeting with …. It’s also useful for upsetting situations: Only good comes to me from this experience: Only good comes to me from punching such and such right on the nose.
The last one’s a joke, if you didn’t already know. Not that I’m anti-anger, far from it, but to end up with a criminal record for the sake of a fool is not a smart move.
To bring about positive change you have to use your head and your heart; your intellect and your instinct; thought and feeling, or put another way, logic and common sense or will power and imagination. The better you get at doing this, the better you will feel and the more your life will improve.
This book is a self-help guide to that end, based on my own experience which, at almost fifty four years of age, constitutes a reasonable length of time. In writing it my overriding intention was to produce a source of real as opposed to false hope, based on common sense. Whether I’ve created as much is for you to judge.
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I AM MOVING FROM FALSE HOPE
TO REAL HOPE
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New Ways, New Possibilities, New Thoughts
Would you say to a friend who was about to make a speech and felt worried sick at the prospect “Bad luck, old chum, I bet you collapse when you get on that stage”? Similarly, would you suggest messages to go on a relaxation CD along the lines of “You are rubbish; your worst nightmare is about to come true”?
Of course you wouldn’t, which proves that you already know thought is powerful.
I AM AND I CAN.
I AM CAPABLE OF CHANGING.
I CAN BECOME MORE THAN I ALREADY AM.
The creative power of thought: how it works and what works best
An affirmation, supported and matched by feeling, is like both a magnet and a seed that’s been sown; a magnetic seed if you like, containing a daydream which if left alone, will bloom. If you imagine a yacht, and summon enough depth of feeling so as to truly believe it is your very own yacht, and then let the thought go, all things necessary for that yacht to turn up in your life and be yours will occur. But you need to be careful. Focus just on the yacht and it could come with strings, e.g. someone who’s abusive, and sticks to you like a limpet. Affirmations are best kept to the abstract. Affirm for a perfect partner based on a checklist of desired attributes, and odds on you’ll forget a crucial detail. You don’t need to work this hard.
I AM GROWING RIGHT NOW; IN THIS VERY MOMENT.
THE UNIVERSE IS ON MY SIDE.
The creative process triggered by thought doesn’t work on a random basis, and thank goodness, for if it did we would be at the mercy of a capricious force. Thoughts become reality mechanically, via a universal law, namely the law of thought. What makes positive thinking appear a hit and miss activity, is simply negative thinking.
The law of thought is as precise as any universal law, such as the laws governing electricity, mathematics and gravity, and not unlike the law of growth that creates a baby from an embryo, or a tulip from a tulip bulb. It’s a law beyond our control so we can’t mess with it, but it’s one we can use to improve our lives.
The reason you can recite “I’ve won the lottery jackpot” until you’re blue in the face and not win it is because, as I said in the introduction, the head needs the heart. A thought needs feeling; it must be supported by belief to become magnetic and, once this is achieved, it must be left alone. Keep picking at a wound and it won’t heal; leave it alone and it will, and so it is once we have cast our daydreams into the atmosphere. The saying seeing is believing is, therefore, back to front. We have to believe in order to see. This accounts for why hypochondriacs don’t get the illnesses they imagine; because deep down they don’t believe they will, not that I’m making light of anxiety, as I know how ghastly it can be.
So to sum up, realizing your dreams all comes down to developing conviction; building belief in your right to those dreams, which involves dispelling any self-doubt.
Self doubt and fear; why it exists and why it’s not your fault
Self-doubt comes from fear. We all feel this fear because there’s a lot of it about, as fear has dominated mankind down the ages, and still does. Society was built on it and we were raised on it and as adults, it’s force fed to us at every turn, e.g. via all those adverts for products and services that play on our anxieties about ageing, appearing poor, getting sick, or losing out. The staple diet of mankind is fear.
I’M LEARNING HOW TO BECOME MORE POSITIVE.
I’M GETTING EVER BETTER AT SHIELDING MYSELF FROM FEAR.
What the credit crunch teaches us
How come world leaders haven’t worked out that thought is creative? Some may have done, and they may well be using positive thinking to improve life, but to admit as much is to risk ridicule for we live in a world that demands proof; tangible evidence to justify action. With thought, the evidence or proof exists in the results. If, say, every magnetic thought we had generated a tiny lump on our head, which went away when the thought became reality, things would be different.
Having said that, the architects of economic meltdown took major gambles, and blatantly ignored proof, but quite conveniently, this cannot be proven! Never mind, let’s leave them to deal with their gaping double standards. Optimum health comes from a single standard; from our thoughts and words matching our feelings and actions, and we can all improve on that front. The lesson to be learned from the banking crisis is that we need to take more responsibility for our lives, and improving the quality of our thoughts is arguably the most powerful and positive step we can take to that end. With this in mind, begin now to build faith in your ability to transform your life, whatever your circumstances. Open up to the possibility that good can come from bad, that the universe is conspiring in your favour and that healing love is attending you. If you find this hard and you feel you’re the only one pulling the sledge, try to stop breathing.
THE UNIVERSE IS LOGICAL AND LOVING.
HEALING LOVE ATTENDS ME NOW.
MY QUALITY OF LIFE IS ON THE UP.
The superior power of positive thoughts
We are estimated to have as many as sixty thousand thoughts per day, of which eighty percent are negative. As with the law of thought, these statistics can’t be proven, but wars attest to a lot of fear and negativity in the world. As such, that we manage to think positively at all is testimony to the human spirit.
These statistics also reveal a fact that you will intuitively understand; a positive thought is far more powerful than a negative thought.
A negative thought has no universal backer, so to speak, because it takes from life; it is life-diminishing. A positive thought, on the other hand, is enriching and life-enhancing. Think a loving thought and the energy flowing from it will uplift and warm you, because you’re in sync with the universe and all that’s precious about life. In contrast, a thought that is hateful and destructive will send a chill down your spine. Basically, when we think and act in ways harmful to ourselves and/or others, we distance ourselves from our heart. It’s important though, to distinguish between primary and secondary negative thoughts, and not to confuse negative feelings with negative thoughts.
Sickness, suffering and negativity; myths dispelled
A person can do such a fantastic job of thinking positively that they feel awful and think awful thoughts. This passes, and is due to emotions surfacing for release because they stand in the way of the person’s dream. In a nutshell, if it hurt on the way in, it will, to an extent, hurt on the way out, at least what remains of it, since we also heal as we go about our daily lives. All of your thoughts and feelings are valid and necessary. If they’re there, they’re there for a reason. There’s nothing illogical or irrational in this world, even if it sometimes looks that way. If you suffered when young, or ever, emotions will have resulted, which, if suppressed at the time, need to be released to restore health. Easier said than done, I know, but it can be done, for the universe doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle. Have you seen a swan after a fight; the way it flaps its wings to shake off negativity before gliding peacefully on its way? It deals with the aftermath of ugly energy in the moment. Human beings, in particular children, are often denied that luxury.
FEELING IS HEALING. / AS I FEEL, SO I HEAL.
I AM SUPPORTED EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.
This begs mention of a “New Thought” theory that has given rise to the unhelpful generalization that suffering and sickness is the result of wrong (negative) thinking, and can be ‘fixed’ by right (positive) thinking. New Thought is an umbrella term for churches and ministries (mainly American) that preach and teach positive thinking, and overall I think they’ve done a superb job of raising awareness of the power of the mind. Thanks to their efforts it’s now commonplace to speak in terms of positive and negative thoughts and energy. However, this take on life, ironically, is itself negative, rooted in fear and judgment. It springs from an idea designed to empower; that each individual has total control over their life and is here by choice, i.e. that we choose our parents and, as such, all that befalls us as a result, be it abuse, serious disease or dire poverty, for example.
Now, for all we know this theory may be true at a soul level but how, at the human level, would we know? And even if it is true, who’s to say hardship and suffering aren’t choices, made to help eradicate fear, rather than due to a defect in comprehension? This is not to say, as I’ll get to, that once on Earth we have to tolerate poor treatment.
I AM MUCH LESS INCLINED TO JUDGE.
I AM GETTING BETTER AT SHRUGGING OFF THE JUDGMENT OF OTHERS.
Positive change requires, indeed depends upon, more self-love, and thinking that you brought misery upon yourself is hardly the best way to come to love yourself. So if you’ve a tendency to see yourself in the dock, guilty as charged, and to judge yourself harshly for whatever reason, please resolve to stop it. You can assess your contribution to your circumstances and conditions, without putting yourself down. Try to see life as an endless stream of experiences, and yourself as a child exploring and learning as you go, for in evolutionary terms we are all children – the human life cycle akin to but a blink of the eye.
I AM FINDING IT EASIER NOT TO CONDEMN OR CRITICISE MYSELF.
I AM A GOOD KID, A WORTHY PERSON, A BUNDLE OF LOVE.
Steering clear of negativity is also encouraged within New Thought circles, and there’s something to be said for this, but it’s not always easy to know where negativity exists. A physically healthy and/or wealthy person, for example, can be hostage to a great deal of fear, while a clearly sick person can be sweet natured and positive. Obvious signs of lack are not necessarily signs of negativity.
WHEREVER I AM, I AM ALWAYS CONNECTED TO THE UNIVERSE.
MY INSTINCT GUIDES ME WISELY.
I AM BEING DRAWN CLOSER TO THE LIGHT.
The light to me is pure unadulterated positive energy; healing love and supreme wisdom, so being within its beam and drawing ever closer to it, which I imagine in my mind’s eye, enables me to visualize growing and learning whilst being protected.
Why it’s important to affirm in the ‘now’
You’ve probably noticed the emphasis on the ‘now’. This is necessary to ensure that you don’t put your dream into the future, and so never realise it. Taking the Serenity prayer as an example, instead of “God, grant me the serenity…” you need to say something like “God has granted me the serenity...” or “I thank God for granting me the serenity...” The affirmation should always be in the present tense. If you affirm “I will be rich” you overlook the ‘when’. To say “I am rich and thankful…” is to affirm in the now but it’s essential that you can relate to what you say. “I love money and money loves me, and it just keeps finding its way to me” may feel more real, as might “I am going from strength to strength financially”.
I LOVE MONEY & MONEY LOVES ME & IT JUST KEEPS FINDING ITS WAY TO ME.
I AM GOING FROM STRENGTH TO STRENGTH FINANCIALLY.
AND I GIVE THANKS THAT THIS IS SO. AND SO IT IS.
Gratitude, Faith and Reciprocity
And I give thanks that this is so. And so it is, achieves some crucial things. The first sentence, in addition to showing gratitude, brings the affirmation into the now; it means that whatever you declare is so already. The second sentence And so it is, which is another way of saying Amen, shows your faith that the universe will provide for you.
Expressing gratitude is key, especially in daily life, as it connects us to the law of reciprocity, or give and take. This is vital to good health as it ensures fair exchanges, so say thank you as much as you can, and look for things to be thankful for. Even after a really bad day, I can usually come up with at least three reasons to be thankful for that particular day, for which I thank the universe.
I AM GETTING BETTER AT RECEIVING.
I AM NOW ENGAGED WITH LIFE IN FAIR WAYS.
I AM FINDING SO MUCH FOR WHICH TO BE GRATEFUL.
Whether you end an affirmation with “And I give thanks…” is a matter of personal choice. What’s more important is that you believe that your affirmation will become reality and that you feel grateful. There are umpteen substitutes for this formal sign off, e.g. Thank you, I know my words have power. People affirm or unaffirm (to coin a term) all day long: I don’t want this; I do want that; I don’t know what I want!