DON’T LET AN OLD PERSON MOVE INTO YOUR BODY
How to Make the Rest of Your Life, the Best of Your Life
Jim Donovan
To Albert
Copyright © 2010 by Jim Donovan
All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, or other without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.
Cover design by Genevieve LaVo Cosdon
www.lavodesign.com
Copy editing by Donna Eliassen, Viking Virtual Services
www.a1vikingvirtualservices.com
Smashwords Edition
www.JimDonovan.com
Dedicated to Georgia, my wife and best friend. Without her patience, support and encouragement, this book would never have been written.
Contents
Acknowledgments
Introduction
1. Challenging the Myths
2. Redefining Your Purpose and Reigniting Your Passion
3. Creating Your Compelling Vision
4. Whatsoever You Believe
5. Attitude Is Everything
6. If You Don’t Have Your Health, All Bets Are Off
7. You Don’t Have to Eat Dog Food
8. Simple Steps to Enhance Your Life
9. The Best of Your Life
Bonus Gifts
About the Author
Additional Resources
Reading List
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
To my mother Marguerite Donovan for teaching me to read and encouraging me in whatever I did, no matter how absurd it seemed at the time.
Special thanks to Genevieve LaVo Cosdon for making the design process fun and for designing an awesome book cover.
Thanks to Donna Eliassen for lending her talent and eye for copy editing, Tracy Ivie for her copywriting help with the cover copy, and to Denise Adelsberger for her administrative assistance.
Thanks to Monika Kovacs for her fitness and exercise suggestions.
My friend and mastermind partner Art (Ski) Swiatkowski for keeping me on track and moving in the right direction.
Jim Sutton for being my friend and for being in my corner throughout it all. You are the best.
Jim Gibson for keeping our accounting in order.
Thanks and appreciation to Suzanne Somers and the Life Extension Foundation for their courage to publish breakthrough ideas for living a vibrant life.
Special thanks to all those ageless people who taught me that aging does not mean getting old and that you can be who you want to be and do what you want to do, no matter what your age.
Lastly, I want to thank all the people who have read my books and newsletter for providing me with encouragement and inspiration throughout the years. I am honored to have been a part of your lives.
INTRODUCTION
“While being young is an accident of time, youth is a permanent state of mind”
Frank Lloyd Wright
Have you ever noticed that some people age well, becoming older with grace and dignity, looking vibrant and alive and remaining physically and mentally active well into old age? Frank Lloyd Wright, quoted above, was still designing when he passed on at 92.
Others, it seems, begin getting old in their youth. What makes the difference?
Why is such a large portion of our society aging so poorly? Why are hospitals and nursing homes overcrowded and many older people just barely alive?
Is this a natural progression or can we actually alter the way we age?
The Bible teaches us that we have a natural life expectancy of 120 – 150 years. Many of the people written about in the Old Testament lived to be over one hundred, and in some parts of the world today, entire villages live well beyond one hundred years of age.
It’s not how long you live; it’s how you live long
What are the secrets of a long and productive life and what can you do about it? More importantly, how can you live your life to the fullest, enjoying an abundance of health, wealth, and happiness? How can you make the most of your life, for however long you are here?
How can you live, laugh, and love more? What steps can you take, starting now, to achieve the best level of health and fitness you are capable of reaching? How can you get back in touch with your dreams and desires and begin to experience them? How can you learn to age with passion, purpose, power, and prosperity?
In Don’t Let an Old Person Move Into Your Body, you will be asked to reevaluate and question the preconceived notions you have about aging and the commonly accepted beliefs about health. You will be asked to examine your attitudes and beliefs and come to understand the important role they play in how we age. You will learn ways to age without becoming old.
You’ll be introduced to people who have aged successfully and learn their strategies. You will learn about the latest developments in the field of longevity and identify ways you can minimize, even slow, the process of aging. You will create a compelling vision for your future and a plan for a long, active, and prosperous life.
I invite you to join me in this exciting journey into aging and learn how you, too, can develop your personal plan of aging with passion, purpose, power and prosperity, and make sure you don’t let an old person move into your body.
It is your God-given birthright to have a life of joy, happiness, health, love, fun, prosperity, excitement, abundance, and all the other wonderful things life on earth has to offer. To accept less is to shortchange yourself and your loved ones.
Don’t Let an Old Person Move Into Your Body has been developed from the work that I have done in live seminars and workshops as well as with individual clients. I ask that you, my friend, approach reading this as if you were with me at a live event. You will be asked, from time to time, to stop reading and complete action steps or write in your journal. Please complete the simple actions as they have been created to help you design a future that will enable you to make the rest of your life, the best of your life.
As with any book, do not simply accept what is written. Test it for yourself and take from it only that which feels right for you. After all, this is your life.
Please keep in mind, throughout this book, that within you is the power to change your life.
Before we begin, I’d like you to think about your intention for reading this book. Intentions are very powerful. They send our desires out into the universe.
Stop reading for a moment and think about why you are reading this book. What do you want to take from the experience? In my live seminars, I ask people to share why they’re attending and what they intend to take from our time together. Obviously, I cannot do that with you, but I can ask you to think about what your response would be.
Do you intend to simply read the book or do you want more? Do you intend to take the ideas presented here, integrate them into your day-to-day life and use them to create an exciting and compelling future?
If you have read any of my other books, you know I don’t write about theory. I write from my own experiences. I know with absolute certainty that the principles, techniques and ideas presented here work, because I have used them to change my own life from one of misery and depression, to living today what I can only describe as a truly magical life. I continue to apply these principles daily as my own life continues to expand and I enjoy even more of the joy and beauty that surrounds us.
I am truly blessed. When I pass a homeless person on the street, I always say a prayer for the unfortunate person as well as a prayer of gratitude, for I understand deeply the phrase “There but for the grace of God, go I.”
I have lived in depression and, at more than one point in my life, I was without a place to call home. I have been at the bottom, gone without food for days at a time, lived in poverty, and sold most of my possessions. I once heard the motivational speaker, Anthony Robbins, talk about washing dishes in the bathtub because the room where he lived had no sink and I laughed because I had done that too.
I’ve slept in cars and spent endless hours sitting on park benches for lack of anywhere else to go. I’ve walked the streets of New York City, hoping to find enough loose change to buy a pack of cigarettes, which gave new meaning to the phrase, “I’d walk a mile for a Camel.”
I do not share these stories to gain your sympathy, for it was all a result of my own doing. I do not share this to be unique for there are many people whose lives have experienced more pain than I can ever imagine. I share this with you, my friend, so that you will understand that no matter where you are right now, you have within you the power to create the life you were born to live.
Today when I awaken each morning, before I get out of bed, I say a short prayer that I learned from the Reverend Robert Schuller, “This is the day which the Lord hath made. We will rejoice and be glad in it,” for I know today that my life is a gift and no matter what happens, I am living a life beyond my wildest dreams.
My life today is magical. I have a loving wife, abundant health and a wonderful home in one of the most beautiful parts of the United States. I am surrounded by nature. And I have all the material possessions that I could possibly want, but more importantly, my life has purpose. I am privileged to spend my time writing books and being able to share what I have learned with others.
My books have been sold throughout the world and I am fortunate to have been able to touch the lives of many, many people in a positive way.
I get to speak to groups of people and share my message so that others may use these ideas in their own life. The biggest thrill for me today is seeing the sparkle in a person’s eye, when they too realize that they can, in fact, create the life that they were born to live.
I know that as you read this book and complete the action steps, you will reach that point when your eyes sparkle, for you will have connected with the ideas presented here and will have made them your own. You will have claimed your personal power and begun designing your life the way you want it to be.
So if you’re ready, let’s begin the journey to make the rest of your life the best of your life.
1. CHALLENGING THE MYTHS
Myth #1
“You’re getting on in years — you’d better slow down.”
“At my age, I’d better be careful.”
“Act your age!”
“We’ll all wind-up in a nursing home sooner or later.”
“The older you get, the more medication you’ll need.”
“I’m just having a senior moment.”
All of the above statements are nonsense. There’s no biological connection between age and poor health. We don’t have to deteriorate as we get older. I first witnessed the principle of healthy aging in action many years ago, while living in La Jolla, California, a beautiful town nestled along the Pacific coast just north of San Diego.
The Southern California coast, with its awesome beauty and mild climate, is conducive to outdoor activity and it is not unusual to see people of all ages engaged in some kind of physical activity. There was a saying that, “If you were able to turn 360 degrees and not see at least three different sports being played, you were not in San Diego.”
La Jolla has a lovely cove where people swim and scuba dive. One sunny morning I was taking a walk through the La Jolla Park. Passing by the cove, I noticed a group of people about to take a swim. As I came closer, I saw that they were older people, well into their 80’s and beyond and that they were going to swim out to the big rock that sits out about a half a mile from the shore.
It was then that I realized there are other ways to age besides the slow deterioration we have been taught is our fate. These elderly folks were going to swim over a mile — in the ocean of all places! At the time I thought to myself, “If I tried that I’d probably drown.” Although a lot younger, I was in no shape to be swimming that distance.
These people were very old. Some looked to be 90, yet all were in top physical condition and appeared to be quite healthy. I later learned that this swim was something these aging seniors did on a regular basis.
The lesson I learned that day stayed with me and greatly influenced my beliefs about aging and the possibility of growing older without giving up our health and mobility.
My role model for aging
While I never had the pleasure of actually meeting him, Mr. Eli Finn became my role model for positive aging many years ago, years before I even considered writing this book. Eli was a close friend of my wife’s aunt, Josie Ferrone, herself an aging woman, in her late eighties at the time.
Aunt Josie, however, remained quite active for most of her life. If you wanted to call her, you had better do it early in the day because chances are she had plans to attend a luncheon or go to the theater. At 83, she still commuted part-time from her home in Fairfield, Connecticut to New York City where she worked as a bookkeeper for an AFL-CIO union. At one time Josie had even met and spoken with Mrs. Eleanor Roosevelt.
Aunt Josie’s affirmation was, "Every day above ground is a good day." It served her well until her passing at age 96. Aunt Josie had met Eli Finn when they were both commuting to New York. He had worked as a salesperson for a company in Harlem and traveled daily from his home in Norwalk until his retirement at 100 years of age.
Being bored with so much time on his hands, and wanting to remain active, he enrolled in college as a full-time student and remained active and vibrant until his passing, from natural causes, at 107. Well past the century mark, Eli was still vacationing to Europe, tending his garden, and living his life to the fullest.
When asked about his longevity, he replied simply, “Be involved and have a good attitude.”
It saddens me when I see older people using canes and walkers, especially since I know, in many cases, it could have been prevented. With the exception of accidents and injuries, the crippling effects of aging we see are the result of poor health choices, a sedentary lifestyle, lack of exercise and most of all, the acceptance that this is a “normal” part of the aging process. It is not. This will become quite clear as you read in Chapter 8 what the various health authorities have to say.
It saddens me how quickly people will accept the stereotypes of aging without the slightest question. I have some friends, for example, who are somewhat older than I and it astounds me how nonchalantly they say things like, “I better slow down, I’m not getting any younger you know.” My late mother-in-law use to say, “It’s tough getting old.” In an effort to shift her focus, I would remind her that the alternative, not getting old, was worse.
I recently had an occasion to have a medical technician visit my home to conduct a routine insurance physical. It happened to occur just days after I hurt my back, a rare occasion in itself, and I was still having trouble standing upright. Without even asking she commented, “Oh, it’s arthritis, it’s just part of getting older, I have the same problems.” How quickly we are to accept illness as a normal part of aging. This is nonsense.
If you interview a cross section of active older people you will soon begin to notice several characteristics they all share. In the coming pages, I will explore these characteristics in greater detail and offer some suggestions for how we can adapt their behaviors in our lives in order to live more fully as we age.
Something shared by many active people in their 80’s and 90’s and even older is that they continue to be engaged in careers that they enjoy or other activities that keep them occupied and enable them to make a contribution. They are engaged in volunteer work, a part-time endeavor, or even self-employment.
I’ll always remember Frank Krause, a former client of mine. When I first met Mr. Krause, I always addressed him that way, not so much because he cared but because it always seemed appropriate. He was in his early 80’s and was the owner of two businesses.
One day we drove in his car into the heart of New York City to look at some trade show displays. I had been working with him to develop a trade show booth for one of his companies. When he parked the car at 53rd Street and 6th Avenue, I grabbed my briefcase and jumped out so that I could help him out of the car.
After all, he was over 80!
But when I got out and looked around for him, he was gone! He was already a half a block down the street. I had to practically run to keep up with him. I realized right then and there that his boundless energy was in part due to his love for his business and the fact that it gave him challenging experiences to look forward to each day.
He also exercised several times a week, and of course, ate sensibly, but it was his love for his work and the companies he’d built that left him feeling connected and provided his “joie de vivre.”
Myth #2
“Work hard, save your money, and when you retire you’ll be able to finally enjoy your life.”
Bull! Nonsense! No! No way! Nein! Nyet! Aniyo! Iie! Non! If there was ever a misguided message given to people, this is it. Look at the absurdity of what we are told to believe and follow. You spend 25 or 30 years working in a job that you may or may not enjoy and save your money so that “someday” you can retire. While saving is sound advice, too many people take it to an extreme, depriving themselves of life’s pleasures so they can squirrel away every cent to be enjoyed sometime in the future, which they may or may not ever live to see.
We are then told to put up with all this so we can “enjoy our retirement,” which for many people who unknowingly bought in to this plan, means living on meager savings and social security. Is this living? I don’t think so.
The very idea of retirement is flawed at its core. For one thing, it establishes that a time will come when you are of no monetary value to society and will not be able to earn a living so you better be prepared. The sad truth is that many older citizens, due to the advances of medicine, are outliving their savings and have to rely on family to support them. In 2009, the Senior Citizens League estimated that five million seiors were living below the poverty line! I am a big believer in taking care of one’s family, however, I also feel that we should be able and are entitled to support ourselves in the lifestyle of our choice.
One of the saddest things I’ve ever experienced was watching my father, in his twilight years, sit idly waiting for the mail to arrive each day. This was what his life had become.
There are better role models for a better way to age.
Harland Sanders, best remembered for starting Kentucky Fried Chicken, now KFC, was 65 years old when he began his business. The story is that when he looked at his Social Security check of $105 a month, he realized he did not want to try to live on it alone. Until he died in 1980 at the age of 90, the Colonel traveled 250,000 miles a year visiting his KFC restaurants around the world.
On July 24, 1987, Hulda Crooks became the oldest person to climb Mt. Fuji in Japan. She was 91 years old at the time. Upon doing so, she exclaimed, “You always feel good when you make a goal.”
Ray Kroc, a mixer salesman, met the McDonald brothers and began his fast food empire when he was well into mid-life. He noted later, “I was 52 years old. I had diabetes and incipient arthritis. I had lost my gall bladder and most of my thyroid gland in earlier campaigns, but I was convinced that the best was ahead of me.” Even with his health challenges, he remained active in his business and lived to be 82. Today, there are over 24,500 McDonald’s restaurants in 115 countries.
Buckminster Fuller, bankrupt at 32 years old, went on to receive international recognition for his geodesic dome as he approached 60. And in 1970, he received the Gold Medal award from the American Institute of Architects at age 75. “Bucky” is rumored to have said, “A man doesn’t even get good until he’s 80!”
Aside from the financial side of the retirement equation, and perhaps more important, is the issue of losing our sense of purpose. While our work is certainly not all that defines who we are, it is essential for us to feel that we are making some contribution to society. We need to feel as though we are “in the game” and not just sitting on the sidelines, watching life go by.
This became painfully apparent to me while visiting my mother in Melbourne, Florida one Christmas. In a department store doing some last minute shopping, I was about to get in line to pay for my purchase, when I noticed an older couple moving in the same direction and motioned for the man to go ahead of me. He looked at me and said, “No, you go ahead. I’m retired. I have nothing better to do.” I vowed, then and there, to never let my life be reduced to a situation where standing in line in a department store was the high point of my day.
I’ll always remember an experience I had while still in my twenties. My company was producing an audio training program for people nearing retirement, and as the producer, I was asked to attend the live seminars, one day a week for seven weeks. It was quite a unique experience for me, a 28-year old, to be part of a seminar with a bunch of people about to retire.
For the first two hours, I was simply an observer. Then, after a while, the group brought me into the discussion and I became a full participant. The lessons I learned in those weeks have stayed with me and contributed immensely to my opinions about aging and retirement.
At lunch on the first day of the seminar, I was sitting with a man named Bill, a Boston police officer about to retire after many years of service. When I asked him how he felt about this, he replied, “Lousy. I’m only 54, but because my job involves carrying a weapon, I have to retire. I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself.”
Up until that point, I thought the primary concern people had was financial security. Was I ever wrong! While finances are very important, I realized that the bigger issue was what to do with the 10 to 12 hours each day that were not going to be taken up by working. Another concern that surfaced later in the program was the feeling that they had, somehow, lost their purpose in life.
Fortunately, the program was effective, and by the last week, the issue had been addressed. At the luncheon on the final day, I asked Bill how he now felt and what his plans were. His eyes lit up as he told me he planned on using his experience as a mounted policeman to teach horseback riding at a local academy part time and that he would finally have time to spend in his garden. Clearly, Bill was well on his way to a new, more exciting, adventure.
Many years ago, a friend of mind defined purpose as “a reason to expend energy.” Purpose gives us a reason to get out of bed in the morning. It keeps us going in the face of adversity. It gives us the inner strength we need to overcome any obstacle. If your purpose or goal is strong enough, you will find a way. Our goals help us to answer the question, “Why am I doing this”?
Richard Bach, while best known for his classic book, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, wrote another book Illusions, which is my personal favorite. It is the story of a bi-plane pilot who, in his travels, meets a master teacher. In one chapter he writes, “Here’s a test to find out whether your mission on earth is finished; if you’re alive, it isn’t.”
When I first read that statement, I was in my twenties and thought it quite profound. Now, years later, it holds even more meaning for me, and hopefully, for you. Since you’re reading this book, I can safely assume you are still among the living. In this case, you are not yet done with your work here. The simple fact that you are here is proof that there is something else you have left to do, learn, or become.
Too many people see retirement as the end of their purpose in life. If you still have a pulse, you can do anything you want.
Now, let’s get about the business of finding out what that might be.
Living a balanced life
A good way to begin any personal growth program is by taking a close look at the different areas of your life. If you were buying a business, the first thing you would do is assess its current state of affairs. You would take inventory and examine the merchandise to determine what to keep and what to discard. You would examine the assets and take a look at the liabilities in order to know what to change.
You will do the same with your life. It is important to view your life in its entirety. To live a full and happy life requires balance in several areas. One of the challenges in our busy world today is maintaining that balance.
Our tendency is to become focused on one area, like money or career, and neglect others such as health or relationships. This can be devastating. You don’t want to wind up with a lot of money at the expense of your family or health, do you? On the other hand, you don’t want to be in great health but broke and homeless, without anyone who cares for you. It is important, when doing personal growth work, to maintain a balance and devote time and attention to each of the key areas that result in a fulfilling life.
Action step — Personal inventory
Following are the areas you will want to include in your inventory. For each of these, closely examine your life at the present time. Where are your strengths? What areas could use some improvement immediately? Choose one or two and set some immediate goals to begin work in those areas.
For example, if you have identified health and fitness as an area you’d like to improve, you may want to begin by making an appointment for a complete physical check-up or sign up for the yoga class you’ve been meaning to take. It is these simple first steps that give us the motivation and momentum to continue making positive changes.
Later, you will complete a powerful visioning activity that will incorporate each of these key areas, but for now, simply identify some things you could begin working on immediately.
• Religion & Spirituality
• Self–development
• Health and Fitness
• Family and Relationships
• Career and Business
• Social and Material
• Money and Investments
Please pause here and complete the activity above.
When you are ready to proceed, turn the page and let’s take a closer look at purpose and how it relates to having a happy, fulfilling life.
2. REDEFINING YOUR PURPOSE AND REIGNITING YOUR PASSION
“Life is a daring adventure or nothing.”
Helen Keller
Comedians Bob Hope and George Burns talked about living to be 100 all throughout their lives. For someone of their generation, born in the 1800’s, this was quit a feat. They also, by no coincidence continued to perform well into their 90’s. I’ll always remember Burns being asked by a reporter if it was true he was scheduled to perform at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas for his 100th birthday. Burns, known for his quick, wit replied, “Yes, and I hope Caesar’s is still in business by then.” It never occurred to him that he would not live to fulfill his dream. As it turned out, although he was still living to see his 100th birthday, he was sick with the flu and was not able to perform.
The amazing thing here is that both men, who throughout their lives affirmed living to be 100 passed away within 90 days after their centennial celebration. I believe that what kept them alive and vibrant at ages that were decades past when most of their contemporaries lived, was their strong sense of purpose and love for their work.
In my first book, Handbook to a Happier Life, I retold a story about a priest who was advised by his doctor to go home and put his affairs in order because his illness was terminal and he did not have long to live. The priest’s big dream was to visit a particular church in Peru before he passed, so off he went. As he was walking out of the church he saw a young boy running away with the poor box. He grabbed the boy by the back of his shirt and asked how dare he steal from the church. “I’m sorry Father,” the boy replied, “But my friends and I are orphans and we’re starving. I was just taking the money to buy food for us.”
Not quite believing the lad, the priest asked to see where these so called starving children were. Taking the priest by the hand, the boy led him to where they were hiding. The priest, forgetting about his own problems, decided he had to do something. He began an orphanage to help the children, and some 25 years later, was still running it.
Andrew Carnegie, one of the most successful people of his generation, taught that having a definite major purpose in life was one of the traits that was absolutely essential for success. Purpose is what gets us out of bed in the morning, raring to get going with our day.
Virtually all of the older people that I know or have read about, who are living vibrantly and appear happy, are engaged in some activity that brings them joy and personal satisfaction. They are not filling their days by pretending to be busy. The most alive people in our society are also, by no small coincidence, the most active and are usually engaged in a profession that gives them such joy that they can not even consider not doing it. To me this is the big secret to success in life. Find something that you are absolutely passionate about doing, something that you can not imagine not doing, and do it. It could be anything from an artistic endeavor, a business, a career, or some other area of life.
In this chapter we will look at what some older people are doing and explore ways in which you might uncover your definite major purpose, whatever it may be. Please don’t misunderstand; I am not suggesting this has to be work or a job. As a matter of fact, as far as I am concerned, if it feels like work, it’s not really your purpose.
I am fortunate that years after what one reporter termed “aimless wandering,” I uncovered something that brings me such satisfaction that I can not imagine not doing it. I recently gave a keynote talk at a high school graduation and told the graduates the secret to a successful life was to find something that you absolutely love to do and figure out a way to get paid for it.
It’s interesting that while the adults in the audience laughed, the young people got it. Here are some people who found their purpose and are living it.
They lived their passion
In 2001 Nina Bourne, VP and Director of Advertising at Knopf Publishing took a break from her daily tasks to celebrate her 85th birthday and then went right back to work.
Bernie Bahr retired from his traditional job and at 63 became a male stripper. One 50 year old fan said, “He shows you that you don’t have to be 20 to be sexy!”
Author Phyliss Whitney, who passed away in 2008 at the age of 104, said in an Associated Press interview when she was 85 that “I’ve slowed down in that I only write one book a year. A writer is what I am.” Her last novel, Amethyst Dreams, was published in 1997, and at 102, she began working on her autobiography. During her long and successful career she wrote more than 75 books and about a hundred short stories.
Wanting to make it easier for women to register to vote, Doris Haddock, at 94, was leading a voter registration team travelling the US.
Elliott Carter, who turned 100 in 2008, won his second Pulitzer Prize for Music at age 65 for his String Quartet no.3 and his first Grammy award at 86 for a violin concerto. Then at 90, he turned to a new genre, opera, receiving rave reviews in the Boston Globe for his operatic work, What’s Next?
Eleanor Lombard, called the “Empress of Fashion” for her part in promoting American fashions to the level of international respectability, worked in her office until she was 99 and then after closing it, still kept a few clients right up until her death at 100. Her work furthered the careers of big name designers like Bill Blass, Anne Klein, and Oscar De La Renta. Clearly, she had found her purpose and passion.
In 2006, Oleg Cassini was renovating a Manhattan town house to be a showcase for his collections when he died, at the age of 92.
Play your special music
When a person is living their true purpose, their calling if you will, it’s obvious. You may remember seeing the 1980 Olympics. I’ll never forget the last scene at the closing ceremony, with Chuck Mangione conducting the orchestra in a great rendition of his hit song Feels So Good.
You could see the absolute joy Mangione was feeling as he literally jumped around, his arms in the air and a look of pure exuberance on his face. It was obvious that he was doing something that gave him great pleasure. Something he was born to do.
One of my favorite quotations is one from Ralph Waldo Emerson who said, “Most men (and women) die with their music still in them.” While this is not a very uplifting statement, it serves to remind me to live my dreams and has become a driving force behind the work that I do. A big part of my purpose, my mission, is to do whatever I can to encourage people to live their dreams and play their special music. I believe each of us was put here by our Creator to do something special. Maybe, like Mangione, it is to make beautiful music. Perhaps our calling is to write, or paint, or dance. Maybe we are here to invent something, start a business, or discover a cure for an illness. Our purpose could be to bring attention to a cause or help end some social problem. Perhaps we’re here to be a great parent, teacher, homemaker, or to bake wonderful pies.
Maybe it is some combination of several things. After all, we’re complex creative creatures with a wide variety of interests and virtually unlimited capabilities. Whatever your purpose, whatever gets your juices going, you owe it to yourself to pursue it. It’s never too soon to begin and it’s never too late to start something new.
Grandma Moses, who created some 1,600 works, didn’t even begin painting until she was 78 years old and at 92 wrote her autobiography and then continued to paint for about 10 more years.
So what is it you’re too old to do?
Never give up your dreams; never let anyone talk you out of a dream that is important to you. If not for the dreamers this world would be a pretty dull place. Dreamers and visionaries accomplish great feats even though they don’t always know exactly how they will do it at the time.
President John F. Kennedy had a dream in 1960 to put a man on the moon by the end of the decade, and on July 21, 1969, Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the face of the moon. It’s interesting to note that at the time he set the goal, neither he nor NASA knew exactly how they were going to accomplish it.
This is an important point about goal setting. You need not be concerned with how you will accomplish what you want until later in the process. First, you must know your heart’s desire.
What is your purpose?
What really gets your juices going? What matters to you? What comes easily to you? What are you naturally good at? If you’re in a transition phase in your life, perhaps nearing retirement to your next adventure or thinking about a career change, these are some of the questions you’ll want to be asking yourself.
Notice I said retiring to your next adventure, I did not say retire. As I wrote earlier, I think the idea of retirement is one of the worst things that you can do.
Action step — What is your adventure?
Later we’ll explore some things that you might be interested in, but for now, here is a question that I’ve used to help me gain clarity about what I really want.
It comes from the noted self-esteem expert Dr. Nathanial Brandon, he asks, “If I were really serious about following my dreams I would ____________?”
Write that out on a sheet of paper, or better yet, in your journal and beneath it add five or six lines. Over the next few days think about this and write down everything that comes to mind.
To dream the impossible dream
What would you do if you knew you would not fail? So many people have a dream, something they have always wanted to do, but do not even attempt it because they are afraid they may not be successful. Others have put their dreams on hold in order to raise a family or have a career. Fortunately, as we age, we reach a point where pursuing our dreams becomes something we can make a priority.
Many people I know have left their big corporate careers having been downsized and tossed out against their will, or took an early retirement, or just decided they’re not going to take it anymore and quit.
My wife Georgia left her executive career in telecommunications to follow her own passions. Having a lifelong love of fashion and style and wanting to do something to empower other women and help them feel good about themselves, she began her fashion styling and image consulting business, The Clothes Doctor.
Today she gives talks and seminars to companies, associations and women’s groups, works with individual clients and has created several home study programs.
She also spends a good portion of her time pursuing her other passion, which is taking care of the furry and feathered creatures who share our home and property with us.
She seems to me to be the happiest while walking around our yard, feeding the animals each morning and when she comes back from a seminar, she’s happy and excited about it.
This is a far cry from the days when she would drag herself into the house after a hard day at the office or following a long road trip.
You’re never too old
Often in seminars, someone will say to me, “I’m too old to change” or “I’m too old to follow my dreams.” This is pure nonsense. As long as you have a pulse, you can move toward realizing your dreams.
Of course, there are some exceptions. If you’re 75 and want to be a professional baseball player, this is not likely to happen, however, there are lots of other dreams you can fulfill regardless of your age.
I’ve always enjoyed the story about the woman who told author and motivational speaker, Wally Amos, that at 54, if she were to go to law school, in three years when she graduated, she would be 57. Wally asked her how old she would be in three years if she did not go to law school?
I remember a story in the Philadelphia Inquirer about a man who had worked in a dry cleaning store for twenty one years without missing a day of work. What made the story unique was that the man was eighty one years old when he was hired! The man, 103 years old when the story was published, was still going strong.
What are some of your dreams? What is it that you would like to have in your life? What would you like to do?
Where would you like to go? Who would you like to meet? What would you like to be known for? What would you like to leave as your legacy?
Jimmy “the butcher” Smith
A butcher for most of his adult life, Jimmy Smith was content with living a modest, middle class lifestyle. He was a happy man blessed with a loving wife and six children, until at sixty-two years of age he had the rug pulled out from under him. Due to his failing health and being unable to stand all day cutting meat, he was forced to leave the job he had held for most of his life.
While this is surely something that would be a challenge to anyone, in his situation it could have been devastating. Fortunately, for Jimmy, a friend introduced him to the network marketing industry, providing him an opportunity for self-employment and a chance to build a business of his own.
After being in the business for a time, Jimmy Smith found his passion in both the leading edge products and the business opportunity offered by Isagenix International, a company whose vision is to make a positive impact on world health and free people from physical and financial pain, and in the process create the largest health-and-wellness company in the world.
I have personally experienced the Isagenix products and found them to be one of the highest quality nutritional products available as have two of my colleagues John Gray and Jack Canfield.
Jimmy had found his calling. With the the health benefits he realized from taking the Isagenix products and the business opportunity it provided, he was on fire and ready to tell the world about his new business.
When I met Jimmy Smith, a few years ago, he was turning eighty and had the energy and stamina of a man half his age. Not only does he look and feel great, he went on to become the top earner in his company, making himself and his family very wealthy, while building a lasting legacy for his children and grand-children.
Perhaps what best describes Jimmy's energy and passion for what he is doing is the experience that I had while attending an all day event with him. I was leaving the event after being in the hotel for over 12 hours. Riding the elevator down to the lobby with Jimmy's daughter Grace, talking about what a long day it had been, I asked where her dad was. “Oh, he has a few more meetings,” she replied. We both laughed at the fact that while we, decades younger, were both ready to call it a day, Jimmy the Butcher was still going strong.
Jimmy Smith is the perfect example of what can happen when a person's passion is ignited by something larger than himself. If you ever have the opportunity to meet Jimmy Smith, by all means, do so. It's a life changing experience.
Action step — Revisiting your dreams
Take out your journal and find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed. Set aside at least a half hour for this exercise, or do it a little at a time, over a period of several days. You may want to create this as a running list and add to it from time to time.
Georgia and I keep a list we call our “looking forward to” list. This is where we record all the things that we’re looking forward to doing. Since we started doing this we have done more, visited more places, seen more movies and plays, been to more restaurants and have had more fun than ever.
If you’d like a real challenge, try this exercise from Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen’s book, The Aladdin Factor.
Write out 101 wishes on your dreams list. This will challenge you to really think about everything you want to be, do, have and share. It is an exercise that is well worth the effort and one that will reward you with a more exciting and fulfilling life.
The secret in completing this exercise is to really let your mind go. For the time being, don’t be concerned with how you will accomplish these things. All you want to do is brainstorm what it is that you would like to be, do, have, and share in your life.
Later on we will extract specific goals from the list and create a plan to help you achieve them, but for now, all you want to do is let your mind run wild. Become like a child again. If you want to travel to some far off place, write it down.
If you want some new possessions, write them down. If you want a new career, write it down. If you want a fabulous relationship, write it down.
If you want to make a difference in your community or in the world, write it down. Whatever you want, write it on your list. It doesn’t have to be realistic.
Just write down everything that comes to mind. Really stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone!
Your unique gifts and talents
Each of us has unique gifts and talents that we can share with humanity. Unfortunately, many people devote a lot of time thinking about the things that they are not good at instead of focusing on those that they do well.
A person will sit thinking that if they could be like someone else or had a specific talent, then they would be happier. Rather than waste your time wishing you were someone else, build upon the gifts and talents that you already possess.
What are your strengths? Are you great with children? Do you find writing or public speaking something that comes easily to you? Generally, our greatest talents are those things that we truly love to do and are naturally good at. Sometimes we even take them for granted.
When I was a teenager, I played bass guitar in a band. I was a fair guitar player but a very good bass player. My friend Bobby Rivas was a musician. Being around him, I learned the difference between the two, which is why I did not pursue a career in music. Sure, I played professionally for several years and had a lot of fun, but I knew this was not where I would make my mark. I needed to work very hard to learn new songs, since playing music was not something that came easily to me. Bobby, on the other hand, would hear a song once or twice and begin playing it.
One day while we were practicing, his younger brother came home from school with a saxophone. Bobby, who at the time played guitar and piano, began fooling around with the sax. Later that evening he was playing songs on it on stage in the New York City nightclub where we performed. That’s a musician!
Action step — Exploring your gifts and talents
What are your unique gifts? In your journal begin writing some of the things you enjoy and that come naturally. You may well find within this list your ideal future path or something that you would enjoy doing as a business.
For example, if you enjoy meeting and talking with new people and like to help them, working in a sales capacity or becoming a personal coach might be perfect for you. Many people in our society are taking their passion for something and their natural talents and turning them into successful businesses or careers.
If you are reentering the workforce, this exercise can be a valuable first step toward finding work that you will enjoy. I often speak with young people who are graduating from school and are ready for their first job. Unfortunately, they have been conditioned to use their resumes to try to find some job category they can fit into. I say unfortunately because I am of the opinion that there is a better way.
Creating the life of your dreams
Recently I was speaking with a young woman who was working in a restaurant I frequent. I asked her about her plans since she had finished college. As she began telling me how she was organizing her resume to send out to companies, I could see her expression change from excitement to one of pain at the thought of what she had to do.
Where there should have been joy, enthusiasm, and excitement at the thought of making her first entrance into the business world, there was only pain and apprehension because she was conditioned to believe she had to make herself fit into an available job slot. I was quite saddened seeing this bright, energetic woman starting out this way and found myself coaching her about some better ways she could find work she would enjoy.
My belief is that she can find work she will enjoy, be passionate about, and add significant value to whomever hires her. I urged her to begin to identify her ideal job; one she would look forward to doing each day, rather than simply try to fit into an existing category.
Several years ago, when my business was slow, I sent my resume to a friend who is an Executive Recruiter. He called me right away and apologetically told me that he could not help me. “I’m sorry, Jim,” he said “I don’t have a pigeon hole you fit into.”
After a brief moment of shock, I began to feel really good that I did not fit into any job category. I am a gifted human being and have unique talents I can give to the world. The fact that I did not fit the profile was proof to me that I was on the right track.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.”
Alexandra “Alex” Scott only lived 8 years before cancer took her young life. But what a miraculous child. At a very young age, she had the courage and strength to take on her illness, and in spite of being very sick, set out to make a difference. She was only 4 when she decided she wanted to raise funds for research, to help the hospital that was helping her, and to give back to others.
Beginning with just one lemonade stand and the help of her family, Alex’s Lemonade Stands continue to raise funds to fight cancer. To date, Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation has raised over $25 million for childhood cancer research.
My friend, Cass Forkin, wanted to do something to help seniors make their dreams come true and began the Twilight Wish Foundation, a non-profit foundation that does just that.
One determined woman, with an idea, has been able to grow an organization that, to date, has granted more than 1,135 individual wishes.
You can learn more about both of these groups and how to contact them, in the resource section.
3 CREATE A COMPELLING VISION FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
“It’s better to have no sight, than it is to have no vision”
Helen Keller
If you were living your absolute dream life, what would it look like? What would you be doing? Where and with whom?
It has been said, over and over again, that whatever you can imagine and believe, you can achieve. We’ll address beliefs later, but for now let’s take a look at getting back in touch with your imagination.
In the last chapter we explored learning to dream again and hopefully you were able to get in touch with many of the things that you would like to do, be, have, and share. Now it’s time to learn to use the most powerful resource you have at your disposal. Your imagination.
It is a fact that your subconscious mind, that part of you that is always working, even while you’re sleeping, does not know the difference between that which is real and that which is vividly imagined. This is the key to attracting and creating the life you desire.
You may remember back in the 1980’s when the Russian Olympic teams were winning all the gold medals. They seemed impossible to beat and were, at least until all the US coaches and trainers learned their “secret.” As one story goes, one night the Russian and US trainers were in a cocktail lounge together. The US trainer primed the Russian trainer with vodka and learned their closely guarded secret. Whether the story it true is unimportant however, the lesson is.
What the US Trainer learned was that the Russian athletes were using visualization techniques and mentally rehearsing winning their events. As simple as this may seem now, at the time it was a major breakthrough for the US Olympic teams. Legendary success coach, Dr. Dennis Waitley, was brought in to work with the US teams. Interestingly, his audio program, The Psychology of Winning, was the first program of its kind that I was exposed to shortly after I began to rebuild my life and had a profound effect on me. Now, more than twenty years later, I still listen to it. One of the high points of my own career was the day my article on goal setting appeared next to Dr. Waitley’s in a leading success magazine.
When the US teams began using visualization techniques and first, seeing themselves winning gold medals in their imaginations, the actual wins were not far behind.
Legendary golfer Jack Nicklaus said he will not even pick up a club until he has a clear image in his mind as to how the ball will travel and where it will land.
Late in his career Arnold Palmer revealed that he had been using visualization techniques for more than 20 years. He just never felt comfortable enough to talk about it.
When fifteen year old skater Sara Hughes came from behind to win a gold medal, one reporter observed:
“She had visualized herself winning the Olympics since she was a little girl and seemed to sense that her dream was unfolding as she skated. She seemed to seize the moment to fully enjoy giving her performance. ”
The world famous actor, now Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, wanted to live in America. He took up weightlifting, since it was at that time, an American sport. Having read about Steve Reeves, a weightlifter who won the Mr. Universe title and went to America to star as Hercules in a movie, Schwarzenegger decided this would be his way to accomplish his dreams as well. In his words, he began by “Painting a picture in my mind of myself standing on a pedestal at the Mr. Universe contest and everyone applauding.”